A CLEAR MIND
TAYLOR
"I just need you to trust me," Taylor said to Mel as she stared back at him.
She spoke slowly. "After everything we just went through...you want to keep secrets...and I'm supposed to be okay with it...?"
Sitting across from her on the sofa, he took her hand in both of his and kissed it. "I'm begging you. Trust me. I won't let you down, I promise."
"I want to go home," she said suddenly.
Tay was temporarily stunned. "Um, home?"
"Yes. Home. To Tulsa. To our house. I want to tell my mother about the baby and buy baby furniture and put together a nursery."
"You--you want to spring this on me right now?"
"Spring? Just last week you were practically begging me to come home--"
"Now I'm begging for another week--"
"Well, Tay, which is it?"
Tay let out a breath. "Just let me take care of a few things and then I'll take you home. Trust me."
"We need to talk."
His heart sank. "What?"
"We've been back together, what, two weeks? And we haven't said a word about what happened."
Tay looked down at his hands.
"Tay, we can't move on without talking about what happened."
"I know," he said quietly.
"So what happened?"
He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "I wish I had all the answers, Mel. I really do. I just--my head wasn't in the right place. You weren't happy. I didn't know who I was and neither did you. Honestly, I kinda didn't expect you to leave, but--how could I take care of you if I couldn't even take care of myself?"
"Why did you let me leave? Why didn't you come after me?"
"Because--" He fought to keep it together. "Because you were better off without me. And I was better off dead."
Mel gasped, covering her mouth. "Tay! Did--did--"
He shook his head, not wanting to talk about it. "It's--really, you don't need to know all this."
"Yes, I do. I need to know everything that goes on with you."
He rubbed his face with both of his hands. "I tried. A couple of times. I ended up in psych, got a diagnosis--"
Mel began to cry. "I'm so sorry I left you..."
"It's okay," he attempted to reassure her. "It really is. I got--I'm getting help. For the first time in years, I feel like I'm thinking clearly. Except--except I can't forgive myself for putting you through that. I just--can't."
"Well, if it makes you feel any better, you can blame pregnancy hormones for at least half of it."
He gave her a half smile, appreciative for her attempt at a joke.
Reaching over, Mel turned his head to face her. "I can forgive you for--poor communication, I guess. If you can forgive me for leaving. Tay, I love you so much. You're the most important thing in the world to me and when you hurt, I hurt. I wish you would have come to me--"
"Yeah, except it took me hitting rock bottom to figure it out."
"I just--that will never happen again. Okay? I promise. I will never leave you. I love you and--and you go do what you have to do. I'll be right here. But just--just don't go anywhere today. Please? Just stay with me."
"Sweetheart, I just need a couple of hours today and then I'm all yours. I promise. And when I come home, we can order takeout, kick back and watch an old black and white...all the things we normally do. Okay?"
Reluctantly, Mel nodded. "Okay. Just, uh...don't be offended if I take it upon myself to order..."
He smiled at her. "You do whatever you want. Order the whole menu, I don't care."
She grinned and Tay was relieved.
------------
Taylor stood outside of 1 Hanson Place in Brooklyn, also known as Skylight, as he waited on Nikki's friend Kari to arrive. It was a magnificent building that used to house the Williamsburgh Savings Bank, complete with its own four-side clock tower, and it was much more impressive than The Corinthian Houston. Plus, the address was Hanson Place. How much more perfect could it get?
If it wasn't in Brooklyn, that's how. Mel would be disappointed for sure. However, he hoped she could see past that. What choice would she have?
He heard the click of her heels against the cement as she approached and he turned to face a tiny girl, smaller than Mel, approach him with a smile on her face. She stood very petite, barely five feet tall, with doe eyes and sandy blonde hair, cut in a bob. He couldn't help but smile back. She was adorable, she looked like a doll.
Confidently, she extended her hand to him. "Hi, I'm Kari, Nikki's friend. Nice to meet you."
Shaking her hand, he introduced himself. "So, uh, how do you know Nikki?"
"We were good friends in college. I came North and she married your brother and headed West. We don't talk as much as I'd like to, but we stay in touch."
"Oh. Um, okay. Well good. So, uh, what do you know about his place?"
"As a wedding planner in New York, it's my job to be a walking encyclopedia of wedding venues. You picked a good one, though a more popular one seems to be the public library..."
"Yeah, she went that route with her first husband..."
"Ah. Well, then, good choice with this one. Especially considering the Hanson reference and all."
Tay found himself blushing as they entered the venue. He knew he didn't have to be there long when he spied the tall, cathedral-style ceilings and elaborately-patterned floors. Faced with limestone and marble and lined with what used to be old bank teller booths with the glass still present, he looked around and it took no time to make up his mind. As Kari marveled on about the history and architecture, Tay had already decided this was what he wanted.
Not realizing he'd interrupted her mid-sentence, he asked her, "Who do I talk to about booking?"
She blinked at him, wide-eyed, from behind her glasses. "Seriously? What if they don't have the date you want available?"
"I'll take whatever they have."
Kari turned her body to him and lowered her glasses. "Now Nikki warned me that this may be a little unconventional and maybe a bit speedy--but she didn't prepare me for this."
"Is it so bad that I already know what I want? I thought this would be easy."
"Maybe for you. But you expect me to get catering and flowers and cake and photographer by--what if they say, like, two weeks?"
"Then I trust you can work miracles."
"You're already killing me and we've only just met."
Tay smiled. "Nikki says you're the best."
Kari sighed, placing her glasses back on her face. "Yeah, yeah, I am. She didn't lie." Then she took a deep breath. "Okay, then. Let's book a venue."
After booking the Skylight building, Tay and Kari stood off to the side at one of the old banking booths as she opened up the binder she had brought. "I gotta be honest, I've never planned a wedding so quickly before," she said to him.
"It'll be easy, I promise. We already had most of the wedding plans laid out. I gotta get with Nikki about bridesmaids dresses, but I already know the cake we want, the décor we want...and I need you to drum me up a good string section. A small one. Violins. I'll give you the address to my studio where you can send recordings. The quicker the better."
Kari wrote furiously as he spoke, asking the occasional question here and there, which he managed to answer quickly, without missing a beat. By the end of their short meeting, Kari was actually smiling and Tay was feeling relieved. She assured him that everything he wanted from her would be doable and in a timely manner. He made a mental note to pay her twice her fee.
Walking down the sidewalk, Tay was just about to hail a cab when his cell phone rang. He frowned to himself when he saw Amanda on the screen. Taking a deep breath, and finally giving in, he answered. "Uh, hello?"
"Taylor. So nice to finally hear your voice."
He sighed, stopping in the middle of the sidewalk to run a hand through his hair. "Amanda, hi. How are you?"
"That's my line," she said dryly. "I'm concerned, Taylor, you've missed your last two appointments. No call, no show. Is there a problem?"
"No," he responded guiltily. "There's no problem, I just--something unexpected came up that I needed to take care of."
"And for two weeks you couldn't keep in contact with me?"
"I know, I'm sorry, I just--it's been a really crazy couple of weeks, I'm still trying to adjust--"
"Adjust to what? Are you seeing another therapist?"
"No. No, nothing like that. Look, I'm not even in Tulsa. I'm in New York."
"New York. Interesting. That's where Mel is."
"Yes. We made up and we got engaged again."
"And how is that for you?"
Annoyed, Tay furrowed his brow into the air. "How does that--how do you think it is for me? It's fucking fantastic, what kind of question is that?"
"I mean that it just seems that maybe this is a little fast..."
"Fast? Are you kidding? It took way too long--"
"I'm concerned about your therapy and your state of mind is all."
"So...are you saying that in order for me to keep my head straight that I can't be happy? That's ludicrous."
"That is not what I'm saying--"
"Then what? What are you saying?"
"I just want to make sure you're going through all this with a clear mind."
Tay sighed again and spoke again, this time more calmly. "I am. I'm taking my medication. I'm okay."
"It isn't good to miss these sessions, Taylor. There's still quite a bit of progress to be made."
"I know."
"Do you know when you'll be coming back to Tulsa?"
"Soon. Within the week, I think."
"I'll need to see you as soon as you get in."
"Amanda, I--I really have a lot going on--"
"What is more important than your health? Than your mental health?"
Fuck. She had backed him into a corner with her logic. "Look. Patient confidentiality and all that stuff, right? Like, I tell you something and it doesn't get out? Or I sue?"
Amanda chuckled into the phone. "Yes. What is it?"
Tay hesitated as he spoke. "Um, Mel's pregnant. We're gonna have a baby."
"Well, Taylor, that's wonderful. Congratulations!"
Tay smiled, feeling the blood rise to his cheeks. "Thanks. Thank you so much."
"How far along is she?"
"Um, thirteen weeks?"
Amanda was silent for a moment before she spoke again. "I know the two of you must be so excited."
Confused at her hesitance, he asked her, "Did you--did you seriously just count? Is that what you were doing? You were counting?"
"Taylor--"
"What the fuck do you take me for, Amanda? Are you doubting my fiancée? I'm supposed to be able to trust you."
"I was doing nothing of the sort. Have you taken your medication today? You seem on edge right now."
"Yeah, I took it. I've been taking it. Regularly. Are you saying that I can't just be on edge naturally? I can't get aggravated? Are these meds supposed to turn me into a zombie or something?"
"I'm just concerned with all the things you have going on right now in such a short period of time. I really feel that you and I need to sit down together and sort it out."
"And we will. As soon as I get into Tulsa, I will schedule an appointment. Okay?"
"Do I have your word?"
"Yes. Yes, you have my word."
Seemingly satisfied with his response, the call was ended and Tay was left standing on the curb in Brooklyn as he took a deep breath. She was right. He had come so far and done so well already that he just needed to take a step back and regroup himself. He was happy. He knew he was. He was happier than he'd been in a long time. Mel took him back, he was going to marry her, she was going to have his child--life was finally back on track, happening as it should be. There was no reason for him to be so defensive all the time, he knew this. And dammit, he was going to do what it took to be the best husband to Mel and the best father to his child. Life was starting now.
--------------
On the cab ride back to the apartment, Taylor suddenly asked the driver to drop him off halfway there. Knowing Mel had her heart set on takeout, he suddenly got a better idea and called her as he entered the small market on the corner of the street he was on. "Hey, babe. What are you doing?"
"Shopping," she answered. He could hear the glee in her voice.
He was caught off guard and he instinctively looked around himself, knowing she was nowhere close. "Um, shopping? Like, in the city?"
"Yeah. Shopping. I noticed today as I was getting dressed that I've put on a few pounds and my clothes are starting to fit a little snug. I had a bit of cabin fever anyway, so I decided what the hell? I'll shop for maternity clothes. Gonna have to do it eventually anyway, right? Did you know they actually have cute designer maternity clothes out there? I'm impressed!"
Tay smiled into the phone, thrilled at the mood she seemed to be in. "Well good, I'm glad. So, listen, how would you feel if we nixed the takeout and I brought something home to put together?"
"Like...are you cooking?"
"Sure, why not?"
Mel giggled into the phone, causing a chain reaction in himself. "Oh my god, I am SO excited! I've missed your cooking, amongst other things."
Tay blushed. "Uh, well, great. Okay. Anything in particular you have in mind?"
"Surprise me!"
The smile quickly left his face. Knowing her penchant for interesting cravings lately, he was afraid of what would happen if he made the wrong dish. "Um, are you sure?"
"Yeah," she insisted. "Surprise me. You've never let me down before."
His throat turned to sandpaper. "Yeah. Okay. Well, uh, I'll be home soon."
"You might beat me there at the rate I'm going!"
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm great. A little retail therapy, a little coffee..."
"Coffee?"
She sighed. "Decaf. Don't worry, Google and I have bonded over the past couple of months. I'm allowed to pretend."
"Well the food'll be real, I promise."
"I'm holding you to it."
Smiling, Tay ended his conversation and headed into the market.
--------------------------------------------------------
MEL
Mel stood in front of the full-length mirror in the bedroom of the condo, modeling her new clothes for herself. Actually, modeling meant more like constantly turning from side to side and looking at her stomach in the mirror. Maybe she had fibbed to Taylor just a little bit. Maybe it wasn't QUITE time to buy maternity clothes--yet. But it would be and, dammit, she just wanted to shop. And in order to keep her shopping trip from depressing her, she simply set out to find the things she WOULD need as opposed to the things she currently wanted.
She strategically avoided the baby stores. She wanted desperately to start baby shopping, but she didn't want to haul the load back to Tulsa and she used that as her excuse, knowing full well that having them shipped would have been just as easy. She knew she was dying to buy girl things. She hadn't given pregnancy or children much thought in the past, but since she'd embraced this pregnancy, she realized that she was desperate for a little girl. But it would be just her luck that it would turn out to be a boy. It would be well over a month, almost two, before she would actually learn the truth. Every night she prayed for a girl and every day her credit cards prayed for tiny lacy dresses and tiny patent leather shoes.
Hearing Tay come in through the front door, she was immediately excited. "Tay!" she called from the bedroom. "Honey, come here!"
"Give me a sec, let me put this stuff down," he called to her. A moment later, he walked through the doorway, a smile spreading across his face. "Hey. Are those new?" he asked, referring to the clothes she wore.
"Yeah," she smiled.
"You look great."
Her smile widened before she remembered her purpose for calling him into the room. Quickly, she grabbed his hand and pulled him closer, turning herself back to the mirror. "Look," she said, lifting her shirt to reveal her stomach. Then she took his hand and guided it up and down and around her stomach. "It's small," she said. "But you can feel it. You can see it, too."
He grinned as he stood next to her in the mirror and looked down at his hand on her stomach. "That's, uh--that's--"
"That's our baby in there," she said quietly. "I can't wait till it starts to move."
"You're really embracing this pregnancy thing, aren't you?"
"I guess I'm attached. I never thought I would ever have children, much less be so excited over something like this. I'm already in love."
"So am I," he replied.
"I'm so happy. The feeling is--almost euphoric sometimes." Then her expression changed. "But only sometimes. The times when I'm not restless or suffering from heartburn or running off to pee."
Tay chuckled. "How 'bout the times when you're starving?"
Letting her shirt fall over his hand, she quickly turned to face him. "Do you know what sounds wonderful right now? Mexican. Spicy, fully-loaded Mexican."
"Have you been stalking me today? Because I totally picked up ingredients for enchiladas."
Mel's eyes widened. "No way. Chicken?"
"Yes."
"Cheese? Obscene amounts of extra cheese?"
"Yes."
"Will the enchilada sauce or salsa set my mouth on fire?"
He narrowed his eyes in thought. "Um, I don't think so..."
"It's okay, we have chili powder," she said, lost in her own thoughts. "Or maybe even Cayenne pepper..."
"And you wonder where your heartburn trouble comes from," he muttered.
"Hey," she said, patting her tiny bump. "We girls like it spicy."
At that, Mel followed Tay into the kitchen.
-----------------
Sitting on a stool at the island, munching on tortilla chips with cheese, salsa, and sour cream, Mel watched Taylor as he cut up the chicken he was putting in their dinner. As she drank white grape juice out of a wine goblet, she had to smile. He treated her so well, providing her healthy alternatives to her favorite habits. She didn't know what she would have ever done without him.
Curiosity struck her, though, and the chips and dip appetizer didn't keep her quiet for long. "So what gave you the wild hair to just...go crazy in the kitchen tonight?"
Tay smiled as he glanced up at her. "I don't know if 'go crazy' is the correct terminology, but--I dunno, I miss cooking. I haven't cooked since before the tour."
"Seriously?"
"Who was I gonna cook for?"
Mel glanced down into her glass in shame.
"Sweetheart, I didn't mean for that to be a jab at you," he said.
"I know."
"You sure?"
She nodded as she picked up another chip. "Yeah. I know."
"Okay...anyway, I thought I'd make a little dinner for us...maybe talk about a few things..."
Her eyes shot up at him in alarm. "What kinda things?"
"Nothing bad," he said, shaking his head as he finished with the chicken. "Just some things we should probably go over since we're heading home soon."
"Well we might as well talk now since you already brought it up," she responded, still on edge.
"Um, well, okay. Uh, Amanda, my therapist, called me today."
"Okay..."
"She's concerned because I've missed the past two appointments."
"Why don't you tell me, once and for all, what all this is about? I mean, did you have some kind of mental breakdown or something? What?"
"I told you what happened. Ike and Zac came to the house one evening--I was drunk, I--I destroyed the table, Mel."
Her eyes widened. "The--the one you--?"
"Yeah. I didn't even know who I was that night. One minute it's there, the next minute, Ike's taking an axe out of my hand. I don't even know how they got in the backyard, honestly. I just--you don't need to hear any of this--"
"Yes," she said suddenly. "Yes, I do."
Sighing as he prepped the chicken he cut up to be cooked on the stove, he continued. "I went to psych after that, they sent me home. After that, I--twice, I--the first time was pills and I had my stomach pumped--Mel, I can't talk about this right now."
She reached out and rubbed his forearm. "It's okay, sweetie," she said quietly. "That's what I'm here for."
Glancing at her, he searched her eyes for a moment before he sighed, picking up the plate of chicken and scraping it into the pan on the stove. "The second time I drew blood. After that is when I started getting help."
"Why didn't you ever tell me?"
"I already couldn't live with myself. I definitely couldn't live with myself if you knew. I couldn't put that kind of weight on your shoulders."
"I feel so useless..."
"Don't. I'm serious, don't even feel that way. I know I--I spent the past two months arguing that I couldn't make you understand but I didn't realize that I hadn't actually told you anything."
"I Googled it. After you told me."
"Mel, I knew something was wrong with me when I told you we needed to wait to get married. I knew. Something just wasn't quite right. And I should have gotten help right then, but I just--I didn't know where to start. I thought maybe it was stress. Or something. Anything. Something just wasn't right. But when you left that morning, I knew letting you go was the right thing. You needed to be as far away from me as possible. I was fucked up, Mel. So fucked up."
"I didn't need to be away from you."
He nodded as he stirred the chicken around in the pan. The smell made Mel's mouth water and she fought to ignore it as he continued. "Yeah, you did."
"I was a wreck," she said quietly. "I was--I slept on the couch for a month. I didn't go outside--I didn't even open the windows. I found out I was pregnant and all I did was cry. And sleep. And eat pudding. And trash the apartment. I wasn't me, either. I ran to New York because I thought being here would only stop the pain but it didn't. I can't be anywhere without you, Tay. Anywhere. Not even New York."
She heard him sniff as he cleared his throat. "I'm here now. We're together now. That's what matters. So, uh, are we done with this conversation?"
Mel nodded. "Yeah."
"Anyway, I'm on medication and I see a therapist once a week. I'm learning a lot about myself, dealing with a lot of internal issues, coming to peace with some things. It's a process, but I'm feeling better. Much better."
"I'm glad."
He turned his head to her and smiled. "Me, too." Then he looked around and cursed. "Shit! I forgot to put on the rice. This might take a little extra time."
"It's okay," Mel said, leaving her seat and searching the cabinets. "I can do that."
He glanced at her and smiled. "Thanks."
"Is that all you wanted to talk about?" she asked, prepping the rice and the water.
"Uh...that was the bulk of it, yeah. I mean, you know we gotta go home soon, right? Our parents are already gonna know you're pregnant just by looking at you. It's not like you're not...I mean, with your body structure, anyone could tell..."
The spoon she was preparing to stir with suddenly hit the counter by the stove. "Are you saying I'm fat?"
His head whipped around to face her. "NO! I'm simply saying with as small as you are, any bump is going to be obvious on you..."
"Depending on what I'm wearing..."
"Until they hug you...I mean, that's saying if we wait too long. You're like, the story of the princess and the pea. Except you're the princess and the baby is our little sweet pea?"
Slowly, Mel picked up the spoon and began her stirring of the rice as she warily side-glanced at him. "Good save, there, Mr. Hanson. Good save..." They prepped dinner in silence for a few minutes before Mel spoke again. "You are right, though. This thing seems to grow by the week! It's the freakiest thing that's ever happened to me."
Tay smirked over at her. "That's how it works."
"Yeah, but--it's like an old black and white horror movie or something. Like it just keeps growing and growing..."
"It's adorable," he said. "And the clothes you bought today are definitely doing you justice. Very cute."
The blood drained from Mel's face all of a sudden when she thought about the clothes. She stopped working on the rice and turned to him in shock. "Tay...I think I did something really bad today..."
"Mel, the rice! It's gonna stick!"
She didn't care as he moved her out of the way of the stove to save dinner. Cooking didn't interest her anymore. "Tay," she said again. "I went shopping today. For maternity clothes."
He glanced at her quickly. "Yeah. So?"
"So what if people recognized me? What if they noticed? What if they KNOW?"
Tay straightened up and looked at her in thought. "Oh..."
She nodded. "Yeah. Our families don't even know yet."
"Uh...well..."
Observing his uneasy tone, Mel acted on her suspicions. "Who did you tell?"
"Just Ike and Zac, I swear. And I swore them to secrecy, Nikki and Kate don't even know."
She searched his eyes for a moment, her own eyes narrowed, preparing to kill him with her stare. And then she sighed and leaned on the counter beside him. "Well, Jason knows, too, so I guess I don't have much room to talk."
"When we go to your appointment in a couple days we should probably tell the doctor we're heading back to Tulsa. Before the week is out."
"Does your family hate me?"
Tay looked at her as if she had three heads. "Do what?"
"Do they hate me? For leaving and being gone so long. For being the reason that you--?"
"First of all, you are NOT the reason for ANYTHING that happened with me then. Okay? And second, they're not mad at you at all. They miss you and they're concerned about you. And when they find out you're pregnant..."
"They're gonna know it's yours, right?"
"WHAT? Are you hearing yourself tonight? How do you think they think of you?" He went back to the food on the stove. "It's not like you're Natalie or anything," he muttered.
Alarms went off in Mel's head. "Excuse me?"
Tay sighed as he took the things off the stove and transported them back to the island to prepare to stuff the enchiladas. "Shit. I wasn't going to tell you that either."
"Well, goddamn, Tay, are we coming BACK INTO this with secrets?"
He sighed again. "No...no...Do you remember when we saw Natalie in church that day? When we left early?"
"Of course I remember, it's the only time we've ever been to church together."
Tay smirked. "Right. Anyway, turns out she was there to talk to Derek. She blackmailed him into telling us he couldn't marry us."
Mel wanted to explode. "ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?"
"Calm down," he said nonchalantly. "Come to find out, she slept with him on a regular basis when I was out of town. Blackmailed him with that to keep him from marrying us. I should have known. Should have seen it coming."
"And you know all this...what did you do?"
"I confronted him. It didn't take much to make him sing." Tay shook his head as he concentrated on dinner. "Simple bastard," he muttered.
"So...are you telling me that if it wasn't for her, you and I wouldn't have..."
"No. Yes. I'm not really sure. Because of that day, a lot of what he said got into my head. A lot. I took him into consideration when I said we weren't ready to get married. To find out he lied just--I dealt with it. Trust me, I dealt with it."
"How many bruises?" she asked anxiously.
Tay smiled. "No bruises. But he got the picture. But, Mel--don't misunderstand what I'm saying when I say this--every stepping stone and hurdle that we've gone through, together or separate, has put us right here where we are right now, in this moment. And I'm happier than I've been in years. My mind is clear, my emotions are defined--and you love me and you're having our child. I honestly don't know how much happier I could be right now. And all that bullshit and craziness I had to go through just to get here? I'd do it again in a second."
He then dipped a fork into several bowls and offered the concoction to Mel. "Here, tell me what you think."
She had barely sunk her teeth into the mixture before her taste buds soared, causing her to completely drop the subject at hand to be completely involved with the flavor in her mouth. She didn't even wait to swallow before she talked. "Oh my god, you can't get that in the oven fast enough."
Smiling, he did the final prepping and put the pan of enchiladas into the oven, setting the timer. As she helped him clean up, snacking along the way, she smiled at him. "You're perfect," she said.
"You better watch it, you're gonna spoil me with all that talk."
Awhile later, when dinner was finished, they sat across from each other at the kitchen island as they dug into their food. Mel's mouth stayed full for the first five solid minutes before she even thought about speaking. "So while we're covering all this ground with all this heavy conversation, I've been doing some thinking of my own."
"Hm?" Tay inquired as he chewed.
"I'm thinking of selling back my portion of 3CG. Or at least signing it over."
"Absolutely not," Tay said as he turned his glass up and looked across at her as he drank.
"Why not? What am I really doing there? I'm useless. And I should never have gotten involved to begin with."
"The fact that you even have an office there is the only thing that keeps me sane sometimes."
"You guys don't even need me there. Be honest. My office can't be our little love nest, there's no reason for me to show up."
"You're gonna break Ike's heart if you come to him with that."
"Don't even try to use Ike against me--the time for that MOE he wanted to do here is long past--that's probably my fault, too. Besides, the studio on Broadway's not even--"
"It's finished."
"What? When?"
"Over the summer."
Mel was instantly livid. "Are you telling me that you guys came to the city and the only one who actually had the balls to CONTACT me was Nikki?"
Tay shook his head. "No. None of us came to New York. But it's finished."
"And Ike hasn't broken his neck to get over here to see it?"
"Things have been...a little crazy around the studio. It's not every day one third of your band breaks a bone and you have to cancel a tour."
"Did you guys reschedule?"
He nodded as he swallowed his bite. "Most of it. For the beginning of the year. Others will have to be scattered out."
"The beginning of--Tay, I'm due--"
"I know when you're due. In my defense, nobody knew you were pregnant when these shows got rescheduled. But I will NOT miss the birth of our baby. I promise you that, on my life, I will not miss that birth."
Mel nodded as she chewed. "Okay." Then she swallowed her food and continued. "Do we have it all covered now?"
Tay scoffed as he looked across the island at her. "Is it that bad to just simply sit and talk to me?"
"No. We just--touched on a lot of heavy subjects that neither of us really wanted to talk about."
"Yeah. Fair enough, I guess."
"Unless you wanna tell me about this top secret stuff you've decided you needed to run around doing all of a sudden."
He looked up at her again from his plate. "I said trust me."
"Okay," she said in defeat. "Okay. Just thought I'd try."
"If you're finished, what do you say we get changed and go see what's on the classic movie channel?"
Mel smiled. "Will there be dessert involved?"
"Are you serious?"
"Of course I'm serious. I'll be settled by the time we change and get into the movie."
He smiled at her mischievously. "Don't worry, I got that covered, too. There's an entire strawberry cheesecake in there with your name on it."
Mel's eyes lit up. "With whipped cream?"
"I did not get whipped cream. I apologize. I'll know better next time."
"But--but--"
"Certainly you're not implying that I go out and get some."
"It's good with whipped cream."
"No. No. I am not going out tonight. Get back to me in another month or so when you're a little more desperate and then we'll talk. The best I can do is whip up a quick meringue or something."
Mel curled her lip up in defeat. "No. It's not the same."
He looked at her with regret. "I'm sorry, hon."
"It's okay. I'll survive."
For the rest of the night, in the dark living room in front of an old black and white movie, Mel and Tay happily pigged out on cheesecake and argued over movie scenes.
----------------------------------------
Alternate Jason chapter: http://tyamwedding.weebly.com/finding-the-light-alternate.html
TAYLOR
"I just need you to trust me," Taylor said to Mel as she stared back at him.
She spoke slowly. "After everything we just went through...you want to keep secrets...and I'm supposed to be okay with it...?"
Sitting across from her on the sofa, he took her hand in both of his and kissed it. "I'm begging you. Trust me. I won't let you down, I promise."
"I want to go home," she said suddenly.
Tay was temporarily stunned. "Um, home?"
"Yes. Home. To Tulsa. To our house. I want to tell my mother about the baby and buy baby furniture and put together a nursery."
"You--you want to spring this on me right now?"
"Spring? Just last week you were practically begging me to come home--"
"Now I'm begging for another week--"
"Well, Tay, which is it?"
Tay let out a breath. "Just let me take care of a few things and then I'll take you home. Trust me."
"We need to talk."
His heart sank. "What?"
"We've been back together, what, two weeks? And we haven't said a word about what happened."
Tay looked down at his hands.
"Tay, we can't move on without talking about what happened."
"I know," he said quietly.
"So what happened?"
He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "I wish I had all the answers, Mel. I really do. I just--my head wasn't in the right place. You weren't happy. I didn't know who I was and neither did you. Honestly, I kinda didn't expect you to leave, but--how could I take care of you if I couldn't even take care of myself?"
"Why did you let me leave? Why didn't you come after me?"
"Because--" He fought to keep it together. "Because you were better off without me. And I was better off dead."
Mel gasped, covering her mouth. "Tay! Did--did--"
He shook his head, not wanting to talk about it. "It's--really, you don't need to know all this."
"Yes, I do. I need to know everything that goes on with you."
He rubbed his face with both of his hands. "I tried. A couple of times. I ended up in psych, got a diagnosis--"
Mel began to cry. "I'm so sorry I left you..."
"It's okay," he attempted to reassure her. "It really is. I got--I'm getting help. For the first time in years, I feel like I'm thinking clearly. Except--except I can't forgive myself for putting you through that. I just--can't."
"Well, if it makes you feel any better, you can blame pregnancy hormones for at least half of it."
He gave her a half smile, appreciative for her attempt at a joke.
Reaching over, Mel turned his head to face her. "I can forgive you for--poor communication, I guess. If you can forgive me for leaving. Tay, I love you so much. You're the most important thing in the world to me and when you hurt, I hurt. I wish you would have come to me--"
"Yeah, except it took me hitting rock bottom to figure it out."
"I just--that will never happen again. Okay? I promise. I will never leave you. I love you and--and you go do what you have to do. I'll be right here. But just--just don't go anywhere today. Please? Just stay with me."
"Sweetheart, I just need a couple of hours today and then I'm all yours. I promise. And when I come home, we can order takeout, kick back and watch an old black and white...all the things we normally do. Okay?"
Reluctantly, Mel nodded. "Okay. Just, uh...don't be offended if I take it upon myself to order..."
He smiled at her. "You do whatever you want. Order the whole menu, I don't care."
She grinned and Tay was relieved.
------------
Taylor stood outside of 1 Hanson Place in Brooklyn, also known as Skylight, as he waited on Nikki's friend Kari to arrive. It was a magnificent building that used to house the Williamsburgh Savings Bank, complete with its own four-side clock tower, and it was much more impressive than The Corinthian Houston. Plus, the address was Hanson Place. How much more perfect could it get?
If it wasn't in Brooklyn, that's how. Mel would be disappointed for sure. However, he hoped she could see past that. What choice would she have?
He heard the click of her heels against the cement as she approached and he turned to face a tiny girl, smaller than Mel, approach him with a smile on her face. She stood very petite, barely five feet tall, with doe eyes and sandy blonde hair, cut in a bob. He couldn't help but smile back. She was adorable, she looked like a doll.
Confidently, she extended her hand to him. "Hi, I'm Kari, Nikki's friend. Nice to meet you."
Shaking her hand, he introduced himself. "So, uh, how do you know Nikki?"
"We were good friends in college. I came North and she married your brother and headed West. We don't talk as much as I'd like to, but we stay in touch."
"Oh. Um, okay. Well good. So, uh, what do you know about his place?"
"As a wedding planner in New York, it's my job to be a walking encyclopedia of wedding venues. You picked a good one, though a more popular one seems to be the public library..."
"Yeah, she went that route with her first husband..."
"Ah. Well, then, good choice with this one. Especially considering the Hanson reference and all."
Tay found himself blushing as they entered the venue. He knew he didn't have to be there long when he spied the tall, cathedral-style ceilings and elaborately-patterned floors. Faced with limestone and marble and lined with what used to be old bank teller booths with the glass still present, he looked around and it took no time to make up his mind. As Kari marveled on about the history and architecture, Tay had already decided this was what he wanted.
Not realizing he'd interrupted her mid-sentence, he asked her, "Who do I talk to about booking?"
She blinked at him, wide-eyed, from behind her glasses. "Seriously? What if they don't have the date you want available?"
"I'll take whatever they have."
Kari turned her body to him and lowered her glasses. "Now Nikki warned me that this may be a little unconventional and maybe a bit speedy--but she didn't prepare me for this."
"Is it so bad that I already know what I want? I thought this would be easy."
"Maybe for you. But you expect me to get catering and flowers and cake and photographer by--what if they say, like, two weeks?"
"Then I trust you can work miracles."
"You're already killing me and we've only just met."
Tay smiled. "Nikki says you're the best."
Kari sighed, placing her glasses back on her face. "Yeah, yeah, I am. She didn't lie." Then she took a deep breath. "Okay, then. Let's book a venue."
After booking the Skylight building, Tay and Kari stood off to the side at one of the old banking booths as she opened up the binder she had brought. "I gotta be honest, I've never planned a wedding so quickly before," she said to him.
"It'll be easy, I promise. We already had most of the wedding plans laid out. I gotta get with Nikki about bridesmaids dresses, but I already know the cake we want, the décor we want...and I need you to drum me up a good string section. A small one. Violins. I'll give you the address to my studio where you can send recordings. The quicker the better."
Kari wrote furiously as he spoke, asking the occasional question here and there, which he managed to answer quickly, without missing a beat. By the end of their short meeting, Kari was actually smiling and Tay was feeling relieved. She assured him that everything he wanted from her would be doable and in a timely manner. He made a mental note to pay her twice her fee.
Walking down the sidewalk, Tay was just about to hail a cab when his cell phone rang. He frowned to himself when he saw Amanda on the screen. Taking a deep breath, and finally giving in, he answered. "Uh, hello?"
"Taylor. So nice to finally hear your voice."
He sighed, stopping in the middle of the sidewalk to run a hand through his hair. "Amanda, hi. How are you?"
"That's my line," she said dryly. "I'm concerned, Taylor, you've missed your last two appointments. No call, no show. Is there a problem?"
"No," he responded guiltily. "There's no problem, I just--something unexpected came up that I needed to take care of."
"And for two weeks you couldn't keep in contact with me?"
"I know, I'm sorry, I just--it's been a really crazy couple of weeks, I'm still trying to adjust--"
"Adjust to what? Are you seeing another therapist?"
"No. No, nothing like that. Look, I'm not even in Tulsa. I'm in New York."
"New York. Interesting. That's where Mel is."
"Yes. We made up and we got engaged again."
"And how is that for you?"
Annoyed, Tay furrowed his brow into the air. "How does that--how do you think it is for me? It's fucking fantastic, what kind of question is that?"
"I mean that it just seems that maybe this is a little fast..."
"Fast? Are you kidding? It took way too long--"
"I'm concerned about your therapy and your state of mind is all."
"So...are you saying that in order for me to keep my head straight that I can't be happy? That's ludicrous."
"That is not what I'm saying--"
"Then what? What are you saying?"
"I just want to make sure you're going through all this with a clear mind."
Tay sighed again and spoke again, this time more calmly. "I am. I'm taking my medication. I'm okay."
"It isn't good to miss these sessions, Taylor. There's still quite a bit of progress to be made."
"I know."
"Do you know when you'll be coming back to Tulsa?"
"Soon. Within the week, I think."
"I'll need to see you as soon as you get in."
"Amanda, I--I really have a lot going on--"
"What is more important than your health? Than your mental health?"
Fuck. She had backed him into a corner with her logic. "Look. Patient confidentiality and all that stuff, right? Like, I tell you something and it doesn't get out? Or I sue?"
Amanda chuckled into the phone. "Yes. What is it?"
Tay hesitated as he spoke. "Um, Mel's pregnant. We're gonna have a baby."
"Well, Taylor, that's wonderful. Congratulations!"
Tay smiled, feeling the blood rise to his cheeks. "Thanks. Thank you so much."
"How far along is she?"
"Um, thirteen weeks?"
Amanda was silent for a moment before she spoke again. "I know the two of you must be so excited."
Confused at her hesitance, he asked her, "Did you--did you seriously just count? Is that what you were doing? You were counting?"
"Taylor--"
"What the fuck do you take me for, Amanda? Are you doubting my fiancée? I'm supposed to be able to trust you."
"I was doing nothing of the sort. Have you taken your medication today? You seem on edge right now."
"Yeah, I took it. I've been taking it. Regularly. Are you saying that I can't just be on edge naturally? I can't get aggravated? Are these meds supposed to turn me into a zombie or something?"
"I'm just concerned with all the things you have going on right now in such a short period of time. I really feel that you and I need to sit down together and sort it out."
"And we will. As soon as I get into Tulsa, I will schedule an appointment. Okay?"
"Do I have your word?"
"Yes. Yes, you have my word."
Seemingly satisfied with his response, the call was ended and Tay was left standing on the curb in Brooklyn as he took a deep breath. She was right. He had come so far and done so well already that he just needed to take a step back and regroup himself. He was happy. He knew he was. He was happier than he'd been in a long time. Mel took him back, he was going to marry her, she was going to have his child--life was finally back on track, happening as it should be. There was no reason for him to be so defensive all the time, he knew this. And dammit, he was going to do what it took to be the best husband to Mel and the best father to his child. Life was starting now.
--------------
On the cab ride back to the apartment, Taylor suddenly asked the driver to drop him off halfway there. Knowing Mel had her heart set on takeout, he suddenly got a better idea and called her as he entered the small market on the corner of the street he was on. "Hey, babe. What are you doing?"
"Shopping," she answered. He could hear the glee in her voice.
He was caught off guard and he instinctively looked around himself, knowing she was nowhere close. "Um, shopping? Like, in the city?"
"Yeah. Shopping. I noticed today as I was getting dressed that I've put on a few pounds and my clothes are starting to fit a little snug. I had a bit of cabin fever anyway, so I decided what the hell? I'll shop for maternity clothes. Gonna have to do it eventually anyway, right? Did you know they actually have cute designer maternity clothes out there? I'm impressed!"
Tay smiled into the phone, thrilled at the mood she seemed to be in. "Well good, I'm glad. So, listen, how would you feel if we nixed the takeout and I brought something home to put together?"
"Like...are you cooking?"
"Sure, why not?"
Mel giggled into the phone, causing a chain reaction in himself. "Oh my god, I am SO excited! I've missed your cooking, amongst other things."
Tay blushed. "Uh, well, great. Okay. Anything in particular you have in mind?"
"Surprise me!"
The smile quickly left his face. Knowing her penchant for interesting cravings lately, he was afraid of what would happen if he made the wrong dish. "Um, are you sure?"
"Yeah," she insisted. "Surprise me. You've never let me down before."
His throat turned to sandpaper. "Yeah. Okay. Well, uh, I'll be home soon."
"You might beat me there at the rate I'm going!"
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm great. A little retail therapy, a little coffee..."
"Coffee?"
She sighed. "Decaf. Don't worry, Google and I have bonded over the past couple of months. I'm allowed to pretend."
"Well the food'll be real, I promise."
"I'm holding you to it."
Smiling, Tay ended his conversation and headed into the market.
--------------------------------------------------------
MEL
Mel stood in front of the full-length mirror in the bedroom of the condo, modeling her new clothes for herself. Actually, modeling meant more like constantly turning from side to side and looking at her stomach in the mirror. Maybe she had fibbed to Taylor just a little bit. Maybe it wasn't QUITE time to buy maternity clothes--yet. But it would be and, dammit, she just wanted to shop. And in order to keep her shopping trip from depressing her, she simply set out to find the things she WOULD need as opposed to the things she currently wanted.
She strategically avoided the baby stores. She wanted desperately to start baby shopping, but she didn't want to haul the load back to Tulsa and she used that as her excuse, knowing full well that having them shipped would have been just as easy. She knew she was dying to buy girl things. She hadn't given pregnancy or children much thought in the past, but since she'd embraced this pregnancy, she realized that she was desperate for a little girl. But it would be just her luck that it would turn out to be a boy. It would be well over a month, almost two, before she would actually learn the truth. Every night she prayed for a girl and every day her credit cards prayed for tiny lacy dresses and tiny patent leather shoes.
Hearing Tay come in through the front door, she was immediately excited. "Tay!" she called from the bedroom. "Honey, come here!"
"Give me a sec, let me put this stuff down," he called to her. A moment later, he walked through the doorway, a smile spreading across his face. "Hey. Are those new?" he asked, referring to the clothes she wore.
"Yeah," she smiled.
"You look great."
Her smile widened before she remembered her purpose for calling him into the room. Quickly, she grabbed his hand and pulled him closer, turning herself back to the mirror. "Look," she said, lifting her shirt to reveal her stomach. Then she took his hand and guided it up and down and around her stomach. "It's small," she said. "But you can feel it. You can see it, too."
He grinned as he stood next to her in the mirror and looked down at his hand on her stomach. "That's, uh--that's--"
"That's our baby in there," she said quietly. "I can't wait till it starts to move."
"You're really embracing this pregnancy thing, aren't you?"
"I guess I'm attached. I never thought I would ever have children, much less be so excited over something like this. I'm already in love."
"So am I," he replied.
"I'm so happy. The feeling is--almost euphoric sometimes." Then her expression changed. "But only sometimes. The times when I'm not restless or suffering from heartburn or running off to pee."
Tay chuckled. "How 'bout the times when you're starving?"
Letting her shirt fall over his hand, she quickly turned to face him. "Do you know what sounds wonderful right now? Mexican. Spicy, fully-loaded Mexican."
"Have you been stalking me today? Because I totally picked up ingredients for enchiladas."
Mel's eyes widened. "No way. Chicken?"
"Yes."
"Cheese? Obscene amounts of extra cheese?"
"Yes."
"Will the enchilada sauce or salsa set my mouth on fire?"
He narrowed his eyes in thought. "Um, I don't think so..."
"It's okay, we have chili powder," she said, lost in her own thoughts. "Or maybe even Cayenne pepper..."
"And you wonder where your heartburn trouble comes from," he muttered.
"Hey," she said, patting her tiny bump. "We girls like it spicy."
At that, Mel followed Tay into the kitchen.
-----------------
Sitting on a stool at the island, munching on tortilla chips with cheese, salsa, and sour cream, Mel watched Taylor as he cut up the chicken he was putting in their dinner. As she drank white grape juice out of a wine goblet, she had to smile. He treated her so well, providing her healthy alternatives to her favorite habits. She didn't know what she would have ever done without him.
Curiosity struck her, though, and the chips and dip appetizer didn't keep her quiet for long. "So what gave you the wild hair to just...go crazy in the kitchen tonight?"
Tay smiled as he glanced up at her. "I don't know if 'go crazy' is the correct terminology, but--I dunno, I miss cooking. I haven't cooked since before the tour."
"Seriously?"
"Who was I gonna cook for?"
Mel glanced down into her glass in shame.
"Sweetheart, I didn't mean for that to be a jab at you," he said.
"I know."
"You sure?"
She nodded as she picked up another chip. "Yeah. I know."
"Okay...anyway, I thought I'd make a little dinner for us...maybe talk about a few things..."
Her eyes shot up at him in alarm. "What kinda things?"
"Nothing bad," he said, shaking his head as he finished with the chicken. "Just some things we should probably go over since we're heading home soon."
"Well we might as well talk now since you already brought it up," she responded, still on edge.
"Um, well, okay. Uh, Amanda, my therapist, called me today."
"Okay..."
"She's concerned because I've missed the past two appointments."
"Why don't you tell me, once and for all, what all this is about? I mean, did you have some kind of mental breakdown or something? What?"
"I told you what happened. Ike and Zac came to the house one evening--I was drunk, I--I destroyed the table, Mel."
Her eyes widened. "The--the one you--?"
"Yeah. I didn't even know who I was that night. One minute it's there, the next minute, Ike's taking an axe out of my hand. I don't even know how they got in the backyard, honestly. I just--you don't need to hear any of this--"
"Yes," she said suddenly. "Yes, I do."
Sighing as he prepped the chicken he cut up to be cooked on the stove, he continued. "I went to psych after that, they sent me home. After that, I--twice, I--the first time was pills and I had my stomach pumped--Mel, I can't talk about this right now."
She reached out and rubbed his forearm. "It's okay, sweetie," she said quietly. "That's what I'm here for."
Glancing at her, he searched her eyes for a moment before he sighed, picking up the plate of chicken and scraping it into the pan on the stove. "The second time I drew blood. After that is when I started getting help."
"Why didn't you ever tell me?"
"I already couldn't live with myself. I definitely couldn't live with myself if you knew. I couldn't put that kind of weight on your shoulders."
"I feel so useless..."
"Don't. I'm serious, don't even feel that way. I know I--I spent the past two months arguing that I couldn't make you understand but I didn't realize that I hadn't actually told you anything."
"I Googled it. After you told me."
"Mel, I knew something was wrong with me when I told you we needed to wait to get married. I knew. Something just wasn't quite right. And I should have gotten help right then, but I just--I didn't know where to start. I thought maybe it was stress. Or something. Anything. Something just wasn't right. But when you left that morning, I knew letting you go was the right thing. You needed to be as far away from me as possible. I was fucked up, Mel. So fucked up."
"I didn't need to be away from you."
He nodded as he stirred the chicken around in the pan. The smell made Mel's mouth water and she fought to ignore it as he continued. "Yeah, you did."
"I was a wreck," she said quietly. "I was--I slept on the couch for a month. I didn't go outside--I didn't even open the windows. I found out I was pregnant and all I did was cry. And sleep. And eat pudding. And trash the apartment. I wasn't me, either. I ran to New York because I thought being here would only stop the pain but it didn't. I can't be anywhere without you, Tay. Anywhere. Not even New York."
She heard him sniff as he cleared his throat. "I'm here now. We're together now. That's what matters. So, uh, are we done with this conversation?"
Mel nodded. "Yeah."
"Anyway, I'm on medication and I see a therapist once a week. I'm learning a lot about myself, dealing with a lot of internal issues, coming to peace with some things. It's a process, but I'm feeling better. Much better."
"I'm glad."
He turned his head to her and smiled. "Me, too." Then he looked around and cursed. "Shit! I forgot to put on the rice. This might take a little extra time."
"It's okay," Mel said, leaving her seat and searching the cabinets. "I can do that."
He glanced at her and smiled. "Thanks."
"Is that all you wanted to talk about?" she asked, prepping the rice and the water.
"Uh...that was the bulk of it, yeah. I mean, you know we gotta go home soon, right? Our parents are already gonna know you're pregnant just by looking at you. It's not like you're not...I mean, with your body structure, anyone could tell..."
The spoon she was preparing to stir with suddenly hit the counter by the stove. "Are you saying I'm fat?"
His head whipped around to face her. "NO! I'm simply saying with as small as you are, any bump is going to be obvious on you..."
"Depending on what I'm wearing..."
"Until they hug you...I mean, that's saying if we wait too long. You're like, the story of the princess and the pea. Except you're the princess and the baby is our little sweet pea?"
Slowly, Mel picked up the spoon and began her stirring of the rice as she warily side-glanced at him. "Good save, there, Mr. Hanson. Good save..." They prepped dinner in silence for a few minutes before Mel spoke again. "You are right, though. This thing seems to grow by the week! It's the freakiest thing that's ever happened to me."
Tay smirked over at her. "That's how it works."
"Yeah, but--it's like an old black and white horror movie or something. Like it just keeps growing and growing..."
"It's adorable," he said. "And the clothes you bought today are definitely doing you justice. Very cute."
The blood drained from Mel's face all of a sudden when she thought about the clothes. She stopped working on the rice and turned to him in shock. "Tay...I think I did something really bad today..."
"Mel, the rice! It's gonna stick!"
She didn't care as he moved her out of the way of the stove to save dinner. Cooking didn't interest her anymore. "Tay," she said again. "I went shopping today. For maternity clothes."
He glanced at her quickly. "Yeah. So?"
"So what if people recognized me? What if they noticed? What if they KNOW?"
Tay straightened up and looked at her in thought. "Oh..."
She nodded. "Yeah. Our families don't even know yet."
"Uh...well..."
Observing his uneasy tone, Mel acted on her suspicions. "Who did you tell?"
"Just Ike and Zac, I swear. And I swore them to secrecy, Nikki and Kate don't even know."
She searched his eyes for a moment, her own eyes narrowed, preparing to kill him with her stare. And then she sighed and leaned on the counter beside him. "Well, Jason knows, too, so I guess I don't have much room to talk."
"When we go to your appointment in a couple days we should probably tell the doctor we're heading back to Tulsa. Before the week is out."
"Does your family hate me?"
Tay looked at her as if she had three heads. "Do what?"
"Do they hate me? For leaving and being gone so long. For being the reason that you--?"
"First of all, you are NOT the reason for ANYTHING that happened with me then. Okay? And second, they're not mad at you at all. They miss you and they're concerned about you. And when they find out you're pregnant..."
"They're gonna know it's yours, right?"
"WHAT? Are you hearing yourself tonight? How do you think they think of you?" He went back to the food on the stove. "It's not like you're Natalie or anything," he muttered.
Alarms went off in Mel's head. "Excuse me?"
Tay sighed as he took the things off the stove and transported them back to the island to prepare to stuff the enchiladas. "Shit. I wasn't going to tell you that either."
"Well, goddamn, Tay, are we coming BACK INTO this with secrets?"
He sighed again. "No...no...Do you remember when we saw Natalie in church that day? When we left early?"
"Of course I remember, it's the only time we've ever been to church together."
Tay smirked. "Right. Anyway, turns out she was there to talk to Derek. She blackmailed him into telling us he couldn't marry us."
Mel wanted to explode. "ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?"
"Calm down," he said nonchalantly. "Come to find out, she slept with him on a regular basis when I was out of town. Blackmailed him with that to keep him from marrying us. I should have known. Should have seen it coming."
"And you know all this...what did you do?"
"I confronted him. It didn't take much to make him sing." Tay shook his head as he concentrated on dinner. "Simple bastard," he muttered.
"So...are you telling me that if it wasn't for her, you and I wouldn't have..."
"No. Yes. I'm not really sure. Because of that day, a lot of what he said got into my head. A lot. I took him into consideration when I said we weren't ready to get married. To find out he lied just--I dealt with it. Trust me, I dealt with it."
"How many bruises?" she asked anxiously.
Tay smiled. "No bruises. But he got the picture. But, Mel--don't misunderstand what I'm saying when I say this--every stepping stone and hurdle that we've gone through, together or separate, has put us right here where we are right now, in this moment. And I'm happier than I've been in years. My mind is clear, my emotions are defined--and you love me and you're having our child. I honestly don't know how much happier I could be right now. And all that bullshit and craziness I had to go through just to get here? I'd do it again in a second."
He then dipped a fork into several bowls and offered the concoction to Mel. "Here, tell me what you think."
She had barely sunk her teeth into the mixture before her taste buds soared, causing her to completely drop the subject at hand to be completely involved with the flavor in her mouth. She didn't even wait to swallow before she talked. "Oh my god, you can't get that in the oven fast enough."
Smiling, he did the final prepping and put the pan of enchiladas into the oven, setting the timer. As she helped him clean up, snacking along the way, she smiled at him. "You're perfect," she said.
"You better watch it, you're gonna spoil me with all that talk."
Awhile later, when dinner was finished, they sat across from each other at the kitchen island as they dug into their food. Mel's mouth stayed full for the first five solid minutes before she even thought about speaking. "So while we're covering all this ground with all this heavy conversation, I've been doing some thinking of my own."
"Hm?" Tay inquired as he chewed.
"I'm thinking of selling back my portion of 3CG. Or at least signing it over."
"Absolutely not," Tay said as he turned his glass up and looked across at her as he drank.
"Why not? What am I really doing there? I'm useless. And I should never have gotten involved to begin with."
"The fact that you even have an office there is the only thing that keeps me sane sometimes."
"You guys don't even need me there. Be honest. My office can't be our little love nest, there's no reason for me to show up."
"You're gonna break Ike's heart if you come to him with that."
"Don't even try to use Ike against me--the time for that MOE he wanted to do here is long past--that's probably my fault, too. Besides, the studio on Broadway's not even--"
"It's finished."
"What? When?"
"Over the summer."
Mel was instantly livid. "Are you telling me that you guys came to the city and the only one who actually had the balls to CONTACT me was Nikki?"
Tay shook his head. "No. None of us came to New York. But it's finished."
"And Ike hasn't broken his neck to get over here to see it?"
"Things have been...a little crazy around the studio. It's not every day one third of your band breaks a bone and you have to cancel a tour."
"Did you guys reschedule?"
He nodded as he swallowed his bite. "Most of it. For the beginning of the year. Others will have to be scattered out."
"The beginning of--Tay, I'm due--"
"I know when you're due. In my defense, nobody knew you were pregnant when these shows got rescheduled. But I will NOT miss the birth of our baby. I promise you that, on my life, I will not miss that birth."
Mel nodded as she chewed. "Okay." Then she swallowed her food and continued. "Do we have it all covered now?"
Tay scoffed as he looked across the island at her. "Is it that bad to just simply sit and talk to me?"
"No. We just--touched on a lot of heavy subjects that neither of us really wanted to talk about."
"Yeah. Fair enough, I guess."
"Unless you wanna tell me about this top secret stuff you've decided you needed to run around doing all of a sudden."
He looked up at her again from his plate. "I said trust me."
"Okay," she said in defeat. "Okay. Just thought I'd try."
"If you're finished, what do you say we get changed and go see what's on the classic movie channel?"
Mel smiled. "Will there be dessert involved?"
"Are you serious?"
"Of course I'm serious. I'll be settled by the time we change and get into the movie."
He smiled at her mischievously. "Don't worry, I got that covered, too. There's an entire strawberry cheesecake in there with your name on it."
Mel's eyes lit up. "With whipped cream?"
"I did not get whipped cream. I apologize. I'll know better next time."
"But--but--"
"Certainly you're not implying that I go out and get some."
"It's good with whipped cream."
"No. No. I am not going out tonight. Get back to me in another month or so when you're a little more desperate and then we'll talk. The best I can do is whip up a quick meringue or something."
Mel curled her lip up in defeat. "No. It's not the same."
He looked at her with regret. "I'm sorry, hon."
"It's okay. I'll survive."
For the rest of the night, in the dark living room in front of an old black and white movie, Mel and Tay happily pigged out on cheesecake and argued over movie scenes.
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Alternate Jason chapter: http://tyamwedding.weebly.com/finding-the-light-alternate.html