HE BROUGHT ME FRUIT
MEL
The next morning Mel awoke feeling more rested than she had in weeks. She lingered in the bed, stretching in the comfort and warmth of the comforter and the softness of the pillow underneath her head. It sure did beat the sofa, that was for sure.
Smiling, she turned her head to the space next to her and her smile vanished and she sighed. Back to reality. Time to face another day.
Finding Jason gone, she sighed again. He probably hadn't even stayed the entire night. What did she expect? He'd poured his heart out to her and she'd stomped on it--again--for the millionth time and she really didn't have any right in asking him to stay to begin with. She couldn't be mad at him for leaving. She appreciated him for the small amount of time he'd spent with her.
Walking into the living room, she stopped in her tracks when she looked to her right into the doorway of the kitchen. She couldn't help that her heart skipped a beat when she saw Jason's back turned, busy at the sink. Stepping lightly, she entered the kitchen and rested her arms on the small island behind him. "Morning," she greeted him.
He turned around quickly, surprised to see her, and he grinned. "Hey, gorgeous. It's afternoon, actually, but who's counting?"
Mel smiled up at him. "I've kinda missed hearing you call me that."
"I've kinda missed saying it." He winked at her and went back to his business.
"So what are you doing, anyway?"
"I've been busy," he answered as he turned off the sink and transported an array of fruits from the sink to the island. "I've been cleaning, shopping..."
Mel furrowed her brow in offense. "Cleaning?"
"Helping. That's a better word."
"Helping..."
"You're welcome."
Sheepishly, she fidgeted with her thumbs. "Um, thank you."
"Anyway, then I went shopping." He turned around and retrieved a fat pill bottle from the counter and plopped it down in front of her. "Prenatal vitamins--"
"How do you know I'm not already taking prenatal vitamins?"
"Because I went through your cabinets."
Mel scowled at him.
"Anyway, then I found this fantastic farmer's market with this enormous selection of fruit and I couldn't leave empty-handed. Especially after..." He stopped and eyed Mel as she walked over to the refrigerator and opened the door.
She snapped off a pudding cup and turned to look at him. "Especially after what?"
"Especially after seeing THAT abomination in your fridge this morning."
She looked at him, hurt. "What abomination?"
"You have a fucking pudding factory in your refrigerator!"
Mel placed a hand on her stomach defensively. "We like pudding."
"Oh, so we're a 'we' now? Just yesterday you were debating on keeping it."
She only looked at him, not really sure how to respond.
"Anyway, it's not healthy," he continued. "You can't live on that."
Defeated, she put the pudding cup back in the refrigerator and closed the door. Taking her place back at the island, she watched him as he cut up the fruit he'd bought. And she watched. And she watched. She couldn't help it. She had to allow herself this one, small joy. She drank in his 6'4" physique as his caramel, Hawaiian skin glowed against the white tank top he wore. She looked up at his face, at his sparkling green eyes. She'd missed his eyes. And she missed his hair. She remembered when his hair was long--god it was so sexy when it was long. Not that he wasn't now. He wore his dark hair short and close to his head now and he seemed to be keeping up the subtle beard. Normally Mel hated facial hair, but on Jason it worked. As he concentrated on the fruit, Mel's eyes drifted from his face to his shoulders, and then to his arms. She watched his biceps as he worked the knife into the fruit. The tattoos on his arms rippled as they moved. And what--what was that written on his right arm...?
"Mel?" he asked, shaking her out of her trance. "Are you okay?"
Mel swore she felt herself blushing. Was she blushing? Did he notice? Thinking quickly, she said, "Um, yeah...just trying to identify all the fruit you have here."
Grinning, he told her, "First of all, to find this stuff in September in New York blew my mind."
She smirked. "You don't come here enough."
"Anyway, I just found as close to some Hawaiian fruits as I could find. Bananas, mangoes, melons, pineapple..."
"When's the last time you went home?"
Glancing at her, he started to toss the assorted cut fruit into a bowl. "So I figured I'd mix in a little yogurt, a little coconut..."
"Jason," she pressed. "When's the last time you went home?"
"It's been awhile."
Mel was confused. Completely confused. "If--you just announced--I mean, why wouldn't you go home? It's clear you miss Hawaii. I can see it."
"I'll make my way back. I haven't forgotten where it is."
"What's keeping you?"
As soon as she said it, she clamped her mouth shut. She knew what his answer was. And now she felt like shit for even pressing the issue. She felt so guilty. So incredibly guilty.
Before she could change the subject, a chunk of mango found its way into her mouth. "How's THAT for fresh?" he asked her, changing the subject on his own.
Biting down on it, Mel thought she would have an orgasm right there. This wasn't her first mango, but it was her first piece of fresh fruit in--well, she didn't know when. "Oh my god," she said with her mouth full. "Oh my god, that's magnificent."
Jason smiled as he went back to the fruit. "A lot better than that pudding shit you're living on."
Her eyes widened suddenly. "Oh my god, the pudding!" Darting for the refrigerator, she pulled out cups in every flavor--chocolate, vanilla, and butterscotch--and tossed them into the fruit bowl that Jason had been preparing, jerking it out from underneath him. "You can hold off on all that fancy salad stuff."
"What the hell are you doing?"
She reached in and popped another chunk of mango in her mouth, holding it in her cheek as she spoke. "Do you have any idea how good this would be, dipped in the pudding? I'm gonna try it all!"
As she carried her new treasure into the living room, Jason called behind her, "You're gonna make yourself sick."
"But it'll be good going down!" she called back over her shoulder.
Less than an hour later, after Mel had gorged herself, thrown it all up, and then accused Jason of trying to poison her with the fruit in a random mood swing, Mel sat back on her same cushion, in her same corner on her sofa.
"You gonna be okay?" Jason asked her after they'd been settled for a few minutes.
"Yeah," she said, flipping channels. "I thought I was over this shit."
"Your body probably freaked out over the strange food."
"That's why I eat pudding."
Jason sighed in defeat. "Look, Mel. About yesterday. I, uh, I said some things I shouldn't have said yesterday."
She looked over at him from the television screen. "So you didn't mean it--"
He looked back at her, hard. "I said some things I shouldn't have said. And I don't want to go through the same song and dance we keep on going through. I just want to be there for you. I want us to be friends like we used to be without all this other...stuff. And I know you don't know what's going to happen with Taylor and all--and that's fine--but either way, you're gonna need someone in your court and I want to be that someone. Just friends, just like we used to be. No strings attached."
Mel could only stare at him. She didn't know what to say. She didn't know how to tell him she felt like shit for taking advantage of him all this time. He could say he stuck around at his own accord all he wanted, but it didn't keep her from feeling any less shitty. But how could he--how could he make it sound so simple? So easy? Especially now since she'd been seeing him like--
She shook the thought out of her mind. "Um, so what do you have to do in the city?"
He narrowed his eyes at her. "So just like that you change the subject. You don't have anything to say?"
"Um...I thought you didn't want to go through the same song and dance?"
He stared at her for a moment before he responded with, "Touche."
She took a deep breath and tucked her hair behind her ear. "I know you have things to do--things you should be doing besides sitting here wasting time with me. But, uh, you think you could stick around just a little longer?"
"Of course. What's up?"
"Um, I have some calls I need to make today. I'd kinda rather not be alone."
Jason nodded. "Yeah. Okay. Do whatever you need to do, I'll be right here."
She smiled graciously. "Thanks. Uh, okay. I guess I'll just get it over with, then."
And with that, she made her way to the desk that had been placed at the panoramic window.
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JASON
As Jason flipped through the magazine he'd picked up from the coffee table, his mind raced. He couldn't believe what he had just done. One of the number one things he had always told Mel was that he would never lie to her. And what had he done? Lied. Lied like a lying dog.
But it was for her own good. It honestly was. He'd meant every goddamn word of what he said yesterday. He wanted to marry her so bad it hurt. But he also wanted to stay in her life and to do that meant to accept her and the decisions she made--whether he agreed with them or not. He didn't know why he continued to torture himself and now he decided he just didn't care anymore. She was what he wanted and he would take her however he could get her.
And then there was the baby. He still couldn't wrap his head around that. On the outside, he was calm, cool, and collected. On the inside, he was freaking out. It was all he could do not to tear Taylor a new asshole. Granted it wasn't his fault he didn't know he'd impregnated his (now ex) fiancée yet, but even when he did--what then? What if they didn't get back together? What if he played the complete douchebag card and decided to just be an absentee father? Jason knew Taylor well enough to know that would never happen, but still--what if?
Jason would take her. He would take her and he would make her his and he would raise that child like it was his own. In a heartbeat, he would make it happen. He had no idea what the fuck he was doing, but as long as he loved her and that child, the rest should come easily.
In the background, he heard Mel on the phone. "Hi, is this Gina? Hi, Gina, this is Melody Banks, how are you? Listen, I needed--um--I needed to talk to you about--about my wedding cake?...Uh, Taylor Hanson, yes...anyway, um, so, I, uh, I need to cancel that order?...That's right...No, no, I'm not going with another baker, I just--well, we're not getting married...Yes...Yes, I understand...I know, me, too...Okay, well thank you...Yes, I will...Okay...Thank you...Bye."
Glancing over the back of the sofa, he eyed Mel as she put down her phone and rested her elbows on the desk, letting her head collapse in her hands. Her shoulders heaved lightly as she cried silently and he longed to go to her. But he stayed put. As much as it pained him, he knew she did what she felt like she needed to do and he needed to keep his distance. When he saw her wipe her eyes and pick the phone up again, he went back to his magazine.
He listened as she called the bridal shop to stop the alterations on the bridesmaids dresses. He listened as she attempted to stop the efforts on Taylor's wedding band but learned, to her horror, that it had already been shipped. He listened as she called the florist, her hair stylist, and he listened to her have a long conversation with her mother about retractions on wedding invitations. He listened to her cry between every phone call and with each call, he grew more and more furious.
She didn't deserve this. She didn't deserve to sit there and have to cancel her entire goddamn wedding because this little punk couldn't get his shit together. How could a man get his hands on a woman like her and have no problem just letting her go? How? He knew they'd barely spoken and he knew he never visited--he had no way of knowing whether that was her doing or not, but it didn't matter. If it were Jason in Taylor's shoes--and it wouldn't have been--he would have beat her to the damn condo before she even got there. You didn't just do stupid shit like letting women like her go. You just didn't.
But he had to stay strong and he had to keep it together, because dammit, she still loved Taylor. He didn't know why and he didn't understand it--but she did. And for that he had to keep the fucker alive, as much as he couldn't stand the thought.
Jason must have been lost in his thoughts, because he hadn't noticed Mel returning to her hole on the sofa. "Thank you," she said to him. "I, uh, I've been putting that off for weeks. I really am glad you're here."
"Me, too," he said to her solemnly. "Are you okay?"
She nodded. "Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine. I, um, what do you think about me selling my share of 3CG back to the guys?"
The question caught Jason off guard. That was all she'd done the entire time he knew her. Well, besides her party planning, which he wished so desperately she would get back into because she was so great at it. To sell off her portion would be like--like she was ending it for real. Was she? Was she trying to end it with Taylor? Surely not..."Um, I actually think that would be smart," he answered honestly. "But do you think they'd buy it back?"
She glowered at him. "Why wouldn't they?"
Jason scoffed. "Can they afford you?"
Mel sighed. "It's not like that. I'd give it away if I had to."
"So you just don't want any part in it, then."
"I don't think it was a good idea to invest in the first place."
"So why did you?"
"Desperation? An excuse? I only wanted to be close to him."
"I know the feeling."
Mel glanced down at her hands and he instantly felt guilty. He really needed to watch his mouth. Seriously.
"Look, I have some appointments in the city over the next few days. I'm going to be busy. But I'll be there if you need me."
"Thanks. I'll be okay."
"I'm serious. If you need me for anything--ANYTHING--you call me. I'll answer. If you feel the slightest tingle or twinge of anything, you call me. Okay?"
She nodded. "Okay"
"I mean it. And while I'm at it, make an appointment with the doctor. I don't even want to think about when your last one was. Don't even tell me."
Mel giggled a little bit and that made him smile. He was glad she still had it in her, and even more glad that he could be the one to bring it out of her.
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MEL
Once Jason had left her apartment, Mel caught herself sighing and sitting for the moment. He had hugged her before he left. Her heart fluttered for a moment when he'd wrapped his arms around her and she was instantly agitated at the false feelings her hormones were providing her. Any normal woman would have felt the same way, though. He was tall, he was muscular, he was warm...and he smelled insanely good. There was safety in his arms. Safety, security...and love. He loved her. He did and she was aware. As much as she never wanted to admit it, she was always aware. There was love in every word he said to her and in every action he did for her. There always had been.
And she'd fought against it. Hard.
Shaking the thoughts out of her head, she picked up her phone and sat for a moment, preparing to make the call she hadn't wanted to make in front of Jason. She needed to talk to Taylor.
For the first time in--well, she didn't know how long--she kind of dreaded the task. She'd never not wanted to talk to him before. Maybe somewhere deep down, she was just ready for this to be all over. She had grown tired of hurting and exhausted from the stress. Was he going through as much agony as she was? He had to be. Though it seemed like every time she spoke to him he didn't sound like it.
He answered on the second ring. "Hey," he said gently. "How are you?"
"Um, I'm..." Suddenly her hand landed on her stomach and she froze. Shit. The baby. Should she tell him? Right now? Over the phone? It was his baby, he had the right to know...
"Mel?" he asked, interrupting her thoughts. "Are you okay?"
"Um, yeah. Yeah, I'm okay. Um, how are you? I mean, how are you with--with therapy and stuff?"
"It's going really well, actually. I'm learning a lot about myself, learning how to cope..."
"Learning how to cope with your own actions?" Mel spat out, surprising even herself.
"Mel," he scolded. "Is that fair?"
"I'm still trying to answer that question."
Tay sighed on the other end. "I know. I know. I just--I wish I knew how to make you understand--"
"I understand just fine. Let's not get that twisted. But it doesn't make it hurt any less. I could have been there, Tay. I could have helped you."
"I needed to do this alone. I know my decision hurt you--it hurt me, too. But now that I'm in it, I realize that I did the right thing. I had to get myself well."
"And are you well now?"
"I'm working on it."
"So...basically, in a nutshell...are you telling me I shouldn't come home?"
There was silence on the other end. He hesitated before he spoke. "D-do you want to come home?"
"I don't know. What if I did?"
"I don't know," he responded quietly. "I still love you, Mel. That'll never change."
"I...love you, too..." she said slowly as she glanced up at the door Jason had just walked out of. Suddenly she remembered his words from yesterday. About history and how it didn't mean shit in the long run. How history was just a crutch you used to convince yourself you still loved someone when you really didn't. History was fighting to hold onto something that was lost long ago. Is that--is that what Tay and Mel had essentially been doing?
"Do you?" she found herself asking him.
"What?"
"Do you? Love me."
"Of course I do."
"I mean the way you used to. A long time ago. When we were young and passionate and--and free."
When she heard silence on his end, it was obvious she had given him some food for thought and she wasn't so sure she liked chewing on it herself. Now suddenly desperate to change the subject, she said, "Uh, so I made some calls today."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah...um, I cancelled the cake. And the bridesmaids' dresses. And, uh, went over some of the invitations with Mom..."
"Damn. I hadn't thought about the invitations."
"So...so just like that? I tell you I've cancelled most of our wedding and all you have to say is you forgot about the invitations?"
"What else am I supposed to say? The venue's been cancelled. There's no way I'm ready for a wedding next month."
"Yeah, well, neither am I."
"What does that mean?"
"What do you think it means, Tay? Was I supposed to be waiting? Was I supposed to be sitting here and patiently waiting while you galavanted around, breaking bones and popping pills and talking to shrinks?"
"That was just cold. What are you saying? Are you saying you've moved on? Was two months all it took?"
"No, Tay, that was all it took for YOU."
"That's not true and you know it."
"I don't know what I know anymore."
"Why won't you come home?"
"Do you really want me there?"
"Why are you fighting me?"
"Why aren't you begging me to keep the cake and the dresses and--" Mel's voice cracked and she shut her mouth to keep from letting the tears flow.
"I thought we talked about this," he said gently.
"YOU talked about it. I never had a single say in it. I never had a chance or a choice or--or anything."
"Did you call Jason?"
Mel was dumbfounded at the question. "Jason? Why the fuck are we talking about--? Yes. Yes, I did. He came by yesterday." She found herself looking back up at the front door. And then, much to her surprise, she smiled. Uncontrollably, she smiled. "He brought me fruit."
"Fruit?"
"Yes, Tay, fruit. Pineapples and mangoes and stuff--Hawaiian fruit."
"Well--well that was nice of him."
"It was." Suddenly feeling agitated, she changed the subject again. "Anyway, I just called to tell you that you got what you wanted. That's all."
"What do you mean?"
"The wedding's off. Done. Over. Cancelled. You don't have to worry about marrying me, you don't have to stress about the wedding. Done."
"I never said I didn't want to marry you."
"You don't have to say it. I already know."
"You're wrong."
"I don't think I am."
"Let me come see you."
"No."
"That condo is in my name."
"And that house is in my name. We can sell it all, I don't give a fuck."
"I didn't want to fight with you."
"Put yourself in my shoes. For once. For the past two months, put yourself in my shoes. I'm hanging up now."
"Mel--"
She terminated the call. Would he call back? Probably. Did she care? Oddly, not really. Maybe it was her hormones this very moment, but something in her felt so...free...knowing there was a possibility that she wouldn't have to carry the burden that was Taylor Hanson much longer. And then she instantly felt ashamed for it.
Then she glanced up at the front door once more and her heart felt heavy. Was it possible? She missed him? Jason, that was. He hadn't been gone long. She always missed him but this time--this time---
This time it just felt different.
MEL
The next morning Mel awoke feeling more rested than she had in weeks. She lingered in the bed, stretching in the comfort and warmth of the comforter and the softness of the pillow underneath her head. It sure did beat the sofa, that was for sure.
Smiling, she turned her head to the space next to her and her smile vanished and she sighed. Back to reality. Time to face another day.
Finding Jason gone, she sighed again. He probably hadn't even stayed the entire night. What did she expect? He'd poured his heart out to her and she'd stomped on it--again--for the millionth time and she really didn't have any right in asking him to stay to begin with. She couldn't be mad at him for leaving. She appreciated him for the small amount of time he'd spent with her.
Walking into the living room, she stopped in her tracks when she looked to her right into the doorway of the kitchen. She couldn't help that her heart skipped a beat when she saw Jason's back turned, busy at the sink. Stepping lightly, she entered the kitchen and rested her arms on the small island behind him. "Morning," she greeted him.
He turned around quickly, surprised to see her, and he grinned. "Hey, gorgeous. It's afternoon, actually, but who's counting?"
Mel smiled up at him. "I've kinda missed hearing you call me that."
"I've kinda missed saying it." He winked at her and went back to his business.
"So what are you doing, anyway?"
"I've been busy," he answered as he turned off the sink and transported an array of fruits from the sink to the island. "I've been cleaning, shopping..."
Mel furrowed her brow in offense. "Cleaning?"
"Helping. That's a better word."
"Helping..."
"You're welcome."
Sheepishly, she fidgeted with her thumbs. "Um, thank you."
"Anyway, then I went shopping." He turned around and retrieved a fat pill bottle from the counter and plopped it down in front of her. "Prenatal vitamins--"
"How do you know I'm not already taking prenatal vitamins?"
"Because I went through your cabinets."
Mel scowled at him.
"Anyway, then I found this fantastic farmer's market with this enormous selection of fruit and I couldn't leave empty-handed. Especially after..." He stopped and eyed Mel as she walked over to the refrigerator and opened the door.
She snapped off a pudding cup and turned to look at him. "Especially after what?"
"Especially after seeing THAT abomination in your fridge this morning."
She looked at him, hurt. "What abomination?"
"You have a fucking pudding factory in your refrigerator!"
Mel placed a hand on her stomach defensively. "We like pudding."
"Oh, so we're a 'we' now? Just yesterday you were debating on keeping it."
She only looked at him, not really sure how to respond.
"Anyway, it's not healthy," he continued. "You can't live on that."
Defeated, she put the pudding cup back in the refrigerator and closed the door. Taking her place back at the island, she watched him as he cut up the fruit he'd bought. And she watched. And she watched. She couldn't help it. She had to allow herself this one, small joy. She drank in his 6'4" physique as his caramel, Hawaiian skin glowed against the white tank top he wore. She looked up at his face, at his sparkling green eyes. She'd missed his eyes. And she missed his hair. She remembered when his hair was long--god it was so sexy when it was long. Not that he wasn't now. He wore his dark hair short and close to his head now and he seemed to be keeping up the subtle beard. Normally Mel hated facial hair, but on Jason it worked. As he concentrated on the fruit, Mel's eyes drifted from his face to his shoulders, and then to his arms. She watched his biceps as he worked the knife into the fruit. The tattoos on his arms rippled as they moved. And what--what was that written on his right arm...?
"Mel?" he asked, shaking her out of her trance. "Are you okay?"
Mel swore she felt herself blushing. Was she blushing? Did he notice? Thinking quickly, she said, "Um, yeah...just trying to identify all the fruit you have here."
Grinning, he told her, "First of all, to find this stuff in September in New York blew my mind."
She smirked. "You don't come here enough."
"Anyway, I just found as close to some Hawaiian fruits as I could find. Bananas, mangoes, melons, pineapple..."
"When's the last time you went home?"
Glancing at her, he started to toss the assorted cut fruit into a bowl. "So I figured I'd mix in a little yogurt, a little coconut..."
"Jason," she pressed. "When's the last time you went home?"
"It's been awhile."
Mel was confused. Completely confused. "If--you just announced--I mean, why wouldn't you go home? It's clear you miss Hawaii. I can see it."
"I'll make my way back. I haven't forgotten where it is."
"What's keeping you?"
As soon as she said it, she clamped her mouth shut. She knew what his answer was. And now she felt like shit for even pressing the issue. She felt so guilty. So incredibly guilty.
Before she could change the subject, a chunk of mango found its way into her mouth. "How's THAT for fresh?" he asked her, changing the subject on his own.
Biting down on it, Mel thought she would have an orgasm right there. This wasn't her first mango, but it was her first piece of fresh fruit in--well, she didn't know when. "Oh my god," she said with her mouth full. "Oh my god, that's magnificent."
Jason smiled as he went back to the fruit. "A lot better than that pudding shit you're living on."
Her eyes widened suddenly. "Oh my god, the pudding!" Darting for the refrigerator, she pulled out cups in every flavor--chocolate, vanilla, and butterscotch--and tossed them into the fruit bowl that Jason had been preparing, jerking it out from underneath him. "You can hold off on all that fancy salad stuff."
"What the hell are you doing?"
She reached in and popped another chunk of mango in her mouth, holding it in her cheek as she spoke. "Do you have any idea how good this would be, dipped in the pudding? I'm gonna try it all!"
As she carried her new treasure into the living room, Jason called behind her, "You're gonna make yourself sick."
"But it'll be good going down!" she called back over her shoulder.
Less than an hour later, after Mel had gorged herself, thrown it all up, and then accused Jason of trying to poison her with the fruit in a random mood swing, Mel sat back on her same cushion, in her same corner on her sofa.
"You gonna be okay?" Jason asked her after they'd been settled for a few minutes.
"Yeah," she said, flipping channels. "I thought I was over this shit."
"Your body probably freaked out over the strange food."
"That's why I eat pudding."
Jason sighed in defeat. "Look, Mel. About yesterday. I, uh, I said some things I shouldn't have said yesterday."
She looked over at him from the television screen. "So you didn't mean it--"
He looked back at her, hard. "I said some things I shouldn't have said. And I don't want to go through the same song and dance we keep on going through. I just want to be there for you. I want us to be friends like we used to be without all this other...stuff. And I know you don't know what's going to happen with Taylor and all--and that's fine--but either way, you're gonna need someone in your court and I want to be that someone. Just friends, just like we used to be. No strings attached."
Mel could only stare at him. She didn't know what to say. She didn't know how to tell him she felt like shit for taking advantage of him all this time. He could say he stuck around at his own accord all he wanted, but it didn't keep her from feeling any less shitty. But how could he--how could he make it sound so simple? So easy? Especially now since she'd been seeing him like--
She shook the thought out of her mind. "Um, so what do you have to do in the city?"
He narrowed his eyes at her. "So just like that you change the subject. You don't have anything to say?"
"Um...I thought you didn't want to go through the same song and dance?"
He stared at her for a moment before he responded with, "Touche."
She took a deep breath and tucked her hair behind her ear. "I know you have things to do--things you should be doing besides sitting here wasting time with me. But, uh, you think you could stick around just a little longer?"
"Of course. What's up?"
"Um, I have some calls I need to make today. I'd kinda rather not be alone."
Jason nodded. "Yeah. Okay. Do whatever you need to do, I'll be right here."
She smiled graciously. "Thanks. Uh, okay. I guess I'll just get it over with, then."
And with that, she made her way to the desk that had been placed at the panoramic window.
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JASON
As Jason flipped through the magazine he'd picked up from the coffee table, his mind raced. He couldn't believe what he had just done. One of the number one things he had always told Mel was that he would never lie to her. And what had he done? Lied. Lied like a lying dog.
But it was for her own good. It honestly was. He'd meant every goddamn word of what he said yesterday. He wanted to marry her so bad it hurt. But he also wanted to stay in her life and to do that meant to accept her and the decisions she made--whether he agreed with them or not. He didn't know why he continued to torture himself and now he decided he just didn't care anymore. She was what he wanted and he would take her however he could get her.
And then there was the baby. He still couldn't wrap his head around that. On the outside, he was calm, cool, and collected. On the inside, he was freaking out. It was all he could do not to tear Taylor a new asshole. Granted it wasn't his fault he didn't know he'd impregnated his (now ex) fiancée yet, but even when he did--what then? What if they didn't get back together? What if he played the complete douchebag card and decided to just be an absentee father? Jason knew Taylor well enough to know that would never happen, but still--what if?
Jason would take her. He would take her and he would make her his and he would raise that child like it was his own. In a heartbeat, he would make it happen. He had no idea what the fuck he was doing, but as long as he loved her and that child, the rest should come easily.
In the background, he heard Mel on the phone. "Hi, is this Gina? Hi, Gina, this is Melody Banks, how are you? Listen, I needed--um--I needed to talk to you about--about my wedding cake?...Uh, Taylor Hanson, yes...anyway, um, so, I, uh, I need to cancel that order?...That's right...No, no, I'm not going with another baker, I just--well, we're not getting married...Yes...Yes, I understand...I know, me, too...Okay, well thank you...Yes, I will...Okay...Thank you...Bye."
Glancing over the back of the sofa, he eyed Mel as she put down her phone and rested her elbows on the desk, letting her head collapse in her hands. Her shoulders heaved lightly as she cried silently and he longed to go to her. But he stayed put. As much as it pained him, he knew she did what she felt like she needed to do and he needed to keep his distance. When he saw her wipe her eyes and pick the phone up again, he went back to his magazine.
He listened as she called the bridal shop to stop the alterations on the bridesmaids dresses. He listened as she attempted to stop the efforts on Taylor's wedding band but learned, to her horror, that it had already been shipped. He listened as she called the florist, her hair stylist, and he listened to her have a long conversation with her mother about retractions on wedding invitations. He listened to her cry between every phone call and with each call, he grew more and more furious.
She didn't deserve this. She didn't deserve to sit there and have to cancel her entire goddamn wedding because this little punk couldn't get his shit together. How could a man get his hands on a woman like her and have no problem just letting her go? How? He knew they'd barely spoken and he knew he never visited--he had no way of knowing whether that was her doing or not, but it didn't matter. If it were Jason in Taylor's shoes--and it wouldn't have been--he would have beat her to the damn condo before she even got there. You didn't just do stupid shit like letting women like her go. You just didn't.
But he had to stay strong and he had to keep it together, because dammit, she still loved Taylor. He didn't know why and he didn't understand it--but she did. And for that he had to keep the fucker alive, as much as he couldn't stand the thought.
Jason must have been lost in his thoughts, because he hadn't noticed Mel returning to her hole on the sofa. "Thank you," she said to him. "I, uh, I've been putting that off for weeks. I really am glad you're here."
"Me, too," he said to her solemnly. "Are you okay?"
She nodded. "Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine. I, um, what do you think about me selling my share of 3CG back to the guys?"
The question caught Jason off guard. That was all she'd done the entire time he knew her. Well, besides her party planning, which he wished so desperately she would get back into because she was so great at it. To sell off her portion would be like--like she was ending it for real. Was she? Was she trying to end it with Taylor? Surely not..."Um, I actually think that would be smart," he answered honestly. "But do you think they'd buy it back?"
She glowered at him. "Why wouldn't they?"
Jason scoffed. "Can they afford you?"
Mel sighed. "It's not like that. I'd give it away if I had to."
"So you just don't want any part in it, then."
"I don't think it was a good idea to invest in the first place."
"So why did you?"
"Desperation? An excuse? I only wanted to be close to him."
"I know the feeling."
Mel glanced down at her hands and he instantly felt guilty. He really needed to watch his mouth. Seriously.
"Look, I have some appointments in the city over the next few days. I'm going to be busy. But I'll be there if you need me."
"Thanks. I'll be okay."
"I'm serious. If you need me for anything--ANYTHING--you call me. I'll answer. If you feel the slightest tingle or twinge of anything, you call me. Okay?"
She nodded. "Okay"
"I mean it. And while I'm at it, make an appointment with the doctor. I don't even want to think about when your last one was. Don't even tell me."
Mel giggled a little bit and that made him smile. He was glad she still had it in her, and even more glad that he could be the one to bring it out of her.
----------------------------------------------------------------
MEL
Once Jason had left her apartment, Mel caught herself sighing and sitting for the moment. He had hugged her before he left. Her heart fluttered for a moment when he'd wrapped his arms around her and she was instantly agitated at the false feelings her hormones were providing her. Any normal woman would have felt the same way, though. He was tall, he was muscular, he was warm...and he smelled insanely good. There was safety in his arms. Safety, security...and love. He loved her. He did and she was aware. As much as she never wanted to admit it, she was always aware. There was love in every word he said to her and in every action he did for her. There always had been.
And she'd fought against it. Hard.
Shaking the thoughts out of her head, she picked up her phone and sat for a moment, preparing to make the call she hadn't wanted to make in front of Jason. She needed to talk to Taylor.
For the first time in--well, she didn't know how long--she kind of dreaded the task. She'd never not wanted to talk to him before. Maybe somewhere deep down, she was just ready for this to be all over. She had grown tired of hurting and exhausted from the stress. Was he going through as much agony as she was? He had to be. Though it seemed like every time she spoke to him he didn't sound like it.
He answered on the second ring. "Hey," he said gently. "How are you?"
"Um, I'm..." Suddenly her hand landed on her stomach and she froze. Shit. The baby. Should she tell him? Right now? Over the phone? It was his baby, he had the right to know...
"Mel?" he asked, interrupting her thoughts. "Are you okay?"
"Um, yeah. Yeah, I'm okay. Um, how are you? I mean, how are you with--with therapy and stuff?"
"It's going really well, actually. I'm learning a lot about myself, learning how to cope..."
"Learning how to cope with your own actions?" Mel spat out, surprising even herself.
"Mel," he scolded. "Is that fair?"
"I'm still trying to answer that question."
Tay sighed on the other end. "I know. I know. I just--I wish I knew how to make you understand--"
"I understand just fine. Let's not get that twisted. But it doesn't make it hurt any less. I could have been there, Tay. I could have helped you."
"I needed to do this alone. I know my decision hurt you--it hurt me, too. But now that I'm in it, I realize that I did the right thing. I had to get myself well."
"And are you well now?"
"I'm working on it."
"So...basically, in a nutshell...are you telling me I shouldn't come home?"
There was silence on the other end. He hesitated before he spoke. "D-do you want to come home?"
"I don't know. What if I did?"
"I don't know," he responded quietly. "I still love you, Mel. That'll never change."
"I...love you, too..." she said slowly as she glanced up at the door Jason had just walked out of. Suddenly she remembered his words from yesterday. About history and how it didn't mean shit in the long run. How history was just a crutch you used to convince yourself you still loved someone when you really didn't. History was fighting to hold onto something that was lost long ago. Is that--is that what Tay and Mel had essentially been doing?
"Do you?" she found herself asking him.
"What?"
"Do you? Love me."
"Of course I do."
"I mean the way you used to. A long time ago. When we were young and passionate and--and free."
When she heard silence on his end, it was obvious she had given him some food for thought and she wasn't so sure she liked chewing on it herself. Now suddenly desperate to change the subject, she said, "Uh, so I made some calls today."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah...um, I cancelled the cake. And the bridesmaids' dresses. And, uh, went over some of the invitations with Mom..."
"Damn. I hadn't thought about the invitations."
"So...so just like that? I tell you I've cancelled most of our wedding and all you have to say is you forgot about the invitations?"
"What else am I supposed to say? The venue's been cancelled. There's no way I'm ready for a wedding next month."
"Yeah, well, neither am I."
"What does that mean?"
"What do you think it means, Tay? Was I supposed to be waiting? Was I supposed to be sitting here and patiently waiting while you galavanted around, breaking bones and popping pills and talking to shrinks?"
"That was just cold. What are you saying? Are you saying you've moved on? Was two months all it took?"
"No, Tay, that was all it took for YOU."
"That's not true and you know it."
"I don't know what I know anymore."
"Why won't you come home?"
"Do you really want me there?"
"Why are you fighting me?"
"Why aren't you begging me to keep the cake and the dresses and--" Mel's voice cracked and she shut her mouth to keep from letting the tears flow.
"I thought we talked about this," he said gently.
"YOU talked about it. I never had a single say in it. I never had a chance or a choice or--or anything."
"Did you call Jason?"
Mel was dumbfounded at the question. "Jason? Why the fuck are we talking about--? Yes. Yes, I did. He came by yesterday." She found herself looking back up at the front door. And then, much to her surprise, she smiled. Uncontrollably, she smiled. "He brought me fruit."
"Fruit?"
"Yes, Tay, fruit. Pineapples and mangoes and stuff--Hawaiian fruit."
"Well--well that was nice of him."
"It was." Suddenly feeling agitated, she changed the subject again. "Anyway, I just called to tell you that you got what you wanted. That's all."
"What do you mean?"
"The wedding's off. Done. Over. Cancelled. You don't have to worry about marrying me, you don't have to stress about the wedding. Done."
"I never said I didn't want to marry you."
"You don't have to say it. I already know."
"You're wrong."
"I don't think I am."
"Let me come see you."
"No."
"That condo is in my name."
"And that house is in my name. We can sell it all, I don't give a fuck."
"I didn't want to fight with you."
"Put yourself in my shoes. For once. For the past two months, put yourself in my shoes. I'm hanging up now."
"Mel--"
She terminated the call. Would he call back? Probably. Did she care? Oddly, not really. Maybe it was her hormones this very moment, but something in her felt so...free...knowing there was a possibility that she wouldn't have to carry the burden that was Taylor Hanson much longer. And then she instantly felt ashamed for it.
Then she glanced up at the front door once more and her heart felt heavy. Was it possible? She missed him? Jason, that was. He hadn't been gone long. She always missed him but this time--this time---
This time it just felt different.