SWALLOWING YOUR PRIDE: A HOW-TO
TAYLOR
The week after they had returned from New York, Taylor had hit the ground running at work. They had a tour to make up for coming up in a few short months, rehearsals needed to happen, a Livestream from New York was in the works and plenty of fan club plans were starting to be thrown on the table for discussion for the next year. He hadn't gotten home before ten at night all week long.
Admittedly, the one thing he did miss about New York, or being out of town with Mel in general, was how it seemed to strip their cares and their worries away. The pressures of home seemingly flew out the window, and he knew that was pretty much the idea of any out-of-town trip. But when they were away, it was just the two of them. No outside influences, nothing to tie them down or hold them back. It made him remember that they were best friends as well as lovers and that was something he cherished.
That particular day, Zac hadn't come in the studio and Isaac needed to duck out early, so Tay decided to call it an early day, as well. He wouldn't let it show in front of his brother, but he was excited as hell to go home when it was still daylight. His mind raced on the way home. They'd have dinner, relax, talk about the baby, the wedding...the prenup...shit. They hadn't even touched the prenup subject and the wedding was fast approaching. Almost too fast. Well, there went a peaceful evening, after all.
Walking into the house and into the living room, Tay stopped short, confused. There was a table by the kitchen doorway. One that had been there for ages. And there Mel sat, on the floor in front of it, facing it, a bucket beside her as she went to town on the leg with a toothbrush as she held the phone on her ear. She had done some peculiar things since she'd been pregnant, but this one nearly took the cake.
"I'm not saying they have to get married, Zac," she was saying into the phone, her ponytail bouncing as she scrubbed the table leg. "I'm simply saying we should hook them up. It would be great. He's single, she's single, we take them to dinner--hey! We'd go with them, like a double date!...Oh Jesus, Zac, everybody around here knows better, don't flatter yourself...Okay, fine, I'll bring Tay and you bring Kate--and hey, while we're at it, we can just throw Ike and Nikki in the mix and make a group thing out of it!"
Behind her, Tay narrowed his eyes and smiled, leaning up against the back of the sofa, crossing his arms in front of his chest. What in the hell was she up to now?
"Why?" Mel whined into the phone. "Brad's a good guy, I think he'd really like her...Well, I wouldn't have suggested him if I didn't think she'd like him, too...How does he feel about curly hair?...Oh, of course you wouldn't know, men supposedly don't talk about shit like that...Yeah, yeah...Okay...No...No, you call him and get back to me...Zac, please!" Then she pouted. "Because I'm pregnant and you love me...Okay, great, you're so awesome!...Thanks, I owe you one!...Okay...Okay...Bye!"
Mel giggled as she put the phone on the floor next to her as she steadily busied herself, dipping the toothbrush into the bucket and vigorously scrubbing the table leg. Suddenly, she said, "I know you're standing there."
A grin spread across Tay's face. "You heard me come in, huh?"
"Of course I did."
"And you didn't care to acknowledge me."
"You didn't acknowledge me, either."
"Touche." Tay stood from the sofa and walked over to her, squatting down to her level. "What the hell are you doing?"
She stopped scrubbing for a moment and looked at him. "Baby-proofing."
He looked at her, incredulous. "Baby-proofing? We still have awhile before it's even born, much less mobile--"
"Oh, you can never be too prepared," she said, matter-of-factly. "Look in that bucket. You wouldn't believe the dirt and the grime that gets on these things! You don't want the baby touching these things then putting its hands in its mouth. That's horrible!"
He guessed she had a point, though he couldn't really wrap his head around the weirdness of it. He found himself looking around the room. "Um, Mel? Sweetheart? What have you done all day?"
She looked around the room, her ponytail swishing behind her. "Everything," she said simply. "All of the table legs, chair legs, everything. It was all horrible. All of it."
"In this room...?"
"The entire house. Most of it wasn't so bad."
Tay felt himself gaping at her in shock. "This is--this is all you've done today."
She nodded, concentrating on her scrubbing again.
"Are you--? You know what? No. You're done. No more of this today."
She looked over at him, offended. "Tay, I need to finish this! And then after this I need to clean out the refrigerator. I have a busy night ahead of me."
Tay stood and gently took the toothbrush out of her hand and dropped it in the bucket. "No, you don't." He offered her his hand and she reluctantly took it, struggling to stand up, her belly getting in her way. He couldn't help but smile. "You're done for the night. You need a break." He nodded toward the bathroom. "Come on. It's probably time to shave your legs again, isn't it?"
Shyly, she smiled and nodded and she allowed him to lead her to the bathroom.
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MEL
Half an hour later, Mel and Taylor sat together in the deep, garden tub, Mel's back to Tay as he wrapped his arms around her in the hot, soothing water. Mel was burning up. "It's hot in here," she said listlessly.
"We're waist-deep in hot water, sweetheart," Tay said, quietly. "What do you expect? We go through this every time, it's always the same."
"I know."
"You want me to run a little cold water?"
"No. Just hold me."
"Okay." He kissed her shoulder and rested his chin on it as his hand dropped down to her stomach. "How's the baby today?"
Mel sighed. "I don't think the baby likes it when I clean. It seems happier when I relax."
"I hate calling it 'it.' I wish you would have found out the gender."
"Isn't it fun to be surprised?"
"Well--I mean, yeah, I guess..."
"I thought you were old-fashioned?"
"I am. Sort of. With most things."
"Are you excited?"
"I can't wait. I'm completely stoked."
Mel smiled. "I'm scared."
She felt Tay turn his head, his lips closer to her ear. "Scared?" He said quietly. "Why are you scared?"
"What if the baby hates me? What if I suck at parenting? What if I'm a horrible mother?"
"You have nothing to be afraid of," he assured her. "You're going to be a fantastic mother and that baby is going to love you. I promise."
"Don't make promises you can't keep."
"I'm not really in that business anymore. I made some mistakes in the past. I'm not that person anymore. You're safe with me. Okay?"
"I know."
He reached out to the side and took the cup from the side of the tub, filled it, and set it back on the edge. "You ready to do this?"
Mel nodded. "Yeah. Let's get this over with."
"Oh, hush, you like it. Turn around here."
They had done this several times before already and Tay was quickly becoming a pro. This was one of the things Mel would miss when she wasn't pregnant anymore. Maybe she could convince him to make this happen every now and again anyway. She smiled at the thought as she lay back and rested her head at the opposite end of the tub, extending her leg and letting her foot rest against Tay's shoulder.
Gently, he applied the shaving cream along the length of her leg. Even more gently, and carefully, he ran the razor up her leg, one easy stroke at a time, rinsing the razor in the cup before starting another stroke. Mel was silent and she smiled as she watched him concentrating so hard. It was the little things in life. The small, quiet moments like this one, that made her heart melt.
Tay managed to ruin it in a matter of seconds.
He glanced in the water between her legs. "So you can shave there, but you can't shave your legs," he observed.
Mel raised an eyebrow. "Brazilian. No damn way I'm letting anything get out of hand down there."
"Couldn't wax your legs?"
"I like when you shave my legs," she pouted.
"Okay," he responded simply. Then he was silent again as he finished her leg and she transitioned to have the other one done.
When he was finished, and Mel found herself ever-amazed, once again, at how he managed to keep the bathwater clean from shaving residue, he rubbed her leg and asked, "Want me to wash your hair?"
She shook her head. "No thank you. I did that this morning."
"You like when I wash your hair."
She smiled. "I do. But it's not necessary this time." She paused for a moment. "You're so good to me. Sometimes I think you're too good to me."
"Well, I love you."
"I love you more," she grinned. "Hey, you want me to make you something special tonight?"
"I don't want you to do anything tonight. Not after I found out you spent all damn day on the floor."
"It wasn't that bad."
"I don't like it."
"You weren't here."
"You make me nervous sometimes. The thought of you home alone and pregnant makes me nervous. And you're only getting more and more...well, pregnant."
"Tay, I'm perfectly fine, I promise. I'm not going to get myself into a situation I can't get out of."
"But what about the time when you do?"
"Tay--"
"I know, I know, I just--I worry."
Mel smiled, her heart melting. "I appreciate your concern. I really do. But I promise you, the only thing different about going through every day life right now is my belly. And my lack of ability to consume alcohol--which, by the way, I want a goddamn glass of wine to be in my hand the second I pop that kid out."
Tay laughed and Mel laughed with him. Then she raised an eyebrow. "Anything I can do for you while we find ourselves in this position, Mr. Hanson?"
He smiled at her in thought. "I'm naked in a bathtub with a gorgeous woman. This should be an instantaneous response. However, I think what I want would be better accomplished outside the tub."
"Then why are we still here?" She said, seductively.
With that, Tay reached behind him and pulled the plug.
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TAYLOR
The sex was amazing. Something in the way she rode him, the sweat that glistened on her face, the way she threw her head back and breathed her moans as she said his name. Taylor had to sit up to watch her. She was so fucking hot. Now he sat at the island in the kitchen, watching Mel cook at her insistence, unable to get their post-bath romp out of his head.
He watched her in silence for a few minutes, listening to the sounds of her bare feet on the kitchen tile and to the dishes as they clanged together while she cooked. She was like magic. The perfect woman. 'A whore in the bedroom and a cook in the kitchen,' as the saying went. In public, she carried herself with class and confidence--unless she was fighting someone.
Speaking of fighting, Tay also sat in silence, drumming up the nerve to talk about the subject they had both procrastinated in bringing up--the prenuptial agreement. He didn't necessarily believe in those, though with Natalie, he hadn't been more thrilled to have it. But with Mel it was different. They didn't need a prenup. Even if, god forbid, things went wrong, he liked to think that they would still respect each other in their parting. Still, though. With both of them having a net worth an impressive amount of zeros between the two of them, it was seemingly necessary.
Finally, he took a deep breath and came out with it. "So. The wedding is less than a month away."
Mel turned around and flashed a smile at him. "I know."
"Um, so I think we kinda need to address the white elephant in the room."
She looked at him again and raised her eyebrow. "White elephant? You mean the baby?"
Tay smiled, seeing how his words were so easily misconstrued. "No. I mean the prenup."
He saw Mel's head drop and she fell silent as she concentrated on the concoction on the stove.
"You know we gotta do something," he continued gently.
She sighed. "I know. I just--I don't like the idea behind it. I don't like the idea of having the 'just in case' security. You know? It's like, 'Sure, you're getting married, but it may not last, so here's how you're going to break up just in case.' It's like--it's like predicting an end before there's even a beginning." She paused for a moment then she turned around and glanced at him. "But in some hypothetical, alternate universe, we DO end up divorcing, I don't want your money. I wouldn't do that to you."
"I don't want yours, either. But, Mel--we can make the prenup anything we want. It doesn't have to be TOTALLY business. We could have a little fun with it."
She turned the dial on the stove down and put a lid on the pot she'd been working on. Turning around, she leaned against the counter next to the stove and raised an eyebrow. "A little fun?"
Tay gave her a half smile and shrugged. "Sure, why not? It's our prenup, we can do whatever we want. Did you and John not have a prenup?"
Mel shook her head. "No. We just--got married. I wasn't worth anything then and nobody counted on him dying, so. Or, well, fake dying. You know."
"Well, look. We'll make it simple. In the unlikely event anything happens, I keep my money, you keep yours, and we all live happily ever after."
"Until I kill you."
"What?"
"If we divorce, it sure as hell won't be my fault," Mel said. "I'll kill you before you divorce me. Maybe we should be making changes to your will instead of drawing up a prenup."
Tay chuckled. "Neither one of us are divorcing the other or killing the other. I know the idea seems a little...morose, for lack of a better term, but--I mean--"
"I know," she said, nodding. "I know. It's kinda necessary."
"Yeah..."
"So okay. That's it, then."
"Yeah. That's it..."
"We'll go and, uh, do the prenup thing."
Tay wiped his sweaty palms on his pants. "Yeah..."
"Can I be creative with your murder in the prenup?"
"I don't think incriminating yourself is a good idea. When I die, they'll get you for premeditated murder. I think a charge for premeditation is heavier than one that's, like, a crime of passion or something."
"Oh, I'm sure I'll be passionate about it."
"I don't doubt it."
"Can we have a clause with, like, Batmobiles and UFO's? Like, a bunch of crazy shit that doesn't exist or we'll never own? And decide who gets what? Ooh! I want a princess castle! With a guard dragon. When we buy my imaginary castle and raise my imaginary dragon, I totally want those out of the prenup."
"As long as I get to keep my sprawling, underground estate, you can have whatever you want."
"Underground?"
"Well, yeah. You're probably gonna stand in the tower of your castle and command your dragon to kill me, so I'm gonna need a place to hide."
"Oh, yeah. Good point."
"I kinda feel like we should be on drugs right now."
"Don't piss me off. I can't have drugs. Or alcohol. My crazy is simply hormonal. I only wish it was substance-induced."
Tay couldn't help but laugh. "Our attorneys are going to think we've lost our minds."
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MEL
Except that they nearly did. A couple days later, Mel and Taylor sat with their attorneys, writing up the prenuptial agreement. They didn't know why they thought this would be easy. They thought they'd walked in with all the answers, they'd put it on paper, and voila. However, such was not the case and they ended up in that office for hours, answering questions they couldn't believe they'd never thought of.
They'd spent hours in that office, nearly all day, perfecting it all and getting it all right, only to sign it and find out that the judge could have a problem with a prenup this close to the wedding. It seemed to be just one more thing to stress about--what if the judge wouldn't pass it?
When they finally got out of there, both of their brains were fried and the ride home was silent. Mel was exhausted. She nearly fell asleep in the Jeep and all she wanted to do was take a nap when they got home.
She had noticed that Tay was acting a little irritable, so she decided to keep her distance and let him chill out when they got home. Mel made herself comfortable with a blanket and a pillow on the sofa while Tay escaped to the music room. It was where he always retreated to when he took to brooding. She didn't think much of it. He'd bang out a few tunes on the piano, get whatever stress there was out of his system, and emerge normal again. She was used to it by now.
She had just begun to doze off when Jason called her. Smiling, she answered and they had a conversation, much like the norm. He talked about onset life, she talked about pregnancy. Then she talked about the prenup. There wasn't anything she didn't tell Jason. He knew it all.
He had just cracked a joke and Mel found it wildly hilarious when Tay suddenly emerged from the music room and entered the living room. He stopped in his tracks and narrowed his eyes at her. "I thought you were sleeping?"
Mel held the phone away from her mouth. "Uh, I was--"
He turned and walked toward the kitchen, muttering, "I should have put HIM in the damn prenup."
She didn't know if Tay had intended for her to hear it or not, but she had and it wasn't something that could be taken back. The comment hit her in the heart, hard, on multiple levels and she was completely confused. Into the phone, she said to Jason, "Uh, I gotta go..."
"What's going on?" He asked, his intuition never failing him.
"I'm not sure...if this conversation I'm about to have with Tay goes in the direction I think it's gonna go in, I'm gonna need an alibi. And I'm putting you on the spot."
"Hey, you've been in Europe with me this whole time. Baby belly and all. I got you."
Mel smiled into the phone and thanked him before she hung up. Then she struggled to get off the couch and stood in the doorway of the kitchen as Tay stood against the counter, turning up a beer. She stood there, crossing her arms, staring at him.
He raised an eyebrow at her. "Am I a sight for sore eyes, or what?"
She glared at him. "What in the fuck is your problem?"
"Did I say I had a problem?"
"You don't have to. You're oozing your usual asshole charm."
He raised his eyebrows and smiled at her, amused. "My usual asshole charm. That's what you really think of me, then?"
"At times like this, yes."
He sat his unfinished beer on the counter and walked past her, eying her. "Well then let me just get out of your hair and then you can finish your private conversation with your little boy toy over there in Europe."
Mel's eyes widened and her jaw dropped in shock. Where was this COMING from? Why was he talking to her this way?
She turned on her heel and marched out of the kitchen, following him. Catching him by the arm, he stopped and turned around. "No," Mel said firmly. "You don't get to be so vulgar with me and then turn around and walk away!"
"Just leave me alone, okay?"
"No! No, I will not! I left you alone. When we got home, I left you alone, I let you go and do your thing. And now you're just gonna--"
"You left me alone to have a private conversation with HIM!"
"There was nothing private about it, it was out in the damn open. I woulda had the conversation right in front of you if you'd been in here."
"You're lying. You're standing there lying to my face right now."
Mel was speechless. This was just so sudden, it was just so--so random. Had something happened in the attorney's office today that she hadn't been aware of? She lowered her voice. "Am I missing something here? I thought we were past all this?"
"Well. Maybe we're not. I don't know. Maybe I'm just--just counting it down."
"Until what?"
"Is that baby mine?" He blurted out.
As an immediate reflex, an action she couldn't control, she slapped him across the face. Hard. "How dare you?"
Holding his cheek, his nostrils flared and he glared at her. There was shock in his eyes. Good.
"After all this. After everything we've been through," she continued. "And you still can't trust me. I can't believe you. And you know what's even worse? After all this time--ALL this time--I have never once given you a reason not to trust me. Not once. I've always been honest and I have always been up front. We're three weeks from the wedding and now you're--" She felt her breathing starting to quicken. "And now you're--"
"You're the one who left me," he spat at her. "I needed you and you left me."
"YOUR'E THE ONE WHO PUSHED ME AWAY, TAY! You PUSHED me away! I spent three months holed up in that condo in New York and never ONCE were you willing to come and see me. Never ONCE! I asked you on more than one occasion, I practically begged you, and you would NOT see me!"
"But you spent plenty of time with Jason, didn't you?"
Mel gaped at him. "Because you TOLD me to, goddammit! I called him because you TOLD me to! I did everything you told me to do! I waited on our marriage, I sat there alone and let you NOT visit me, I called Jason, I did what you told me to do! What is your problem NOW?"
He stared back at her for a moment before he wordlessly charged past her and toward the front door, scooping his keys off the table in the foyer. Mel followed him, her heart sinking. "Tay," her voice rang out in wrangled desperation. "Where are you going?"
"I don't know," he muttered. And he slammed the front door behind him.
Mel stood there, gaping at the front door he had just walked out of. She was devastated. She was confused and devastated and offended. What had happened here? She stood in place and looked around for a moment, lost. Then she went on a frantic search for her phone and she called Zac. "Zac," she said into the phone, her voice shaking, a fighting attempt to not cry. "Where are you right now? Are you at home?"
"Are you okay?" He asked her. "Where's Tay?"
The panic was starting to build quickly. "I don't know. I don't know where he is. He just, he picked up his keys and left, I don't know where he is."
"What are you talking about, what happened?"
"We had a fight--"
"About what?"
"He dredged up all the old stuff. Jason and our split up and--Zac, he asked me if the baby was his."
"Shit..."
"It was like he went schizo on me or something. We, uh, we went to draw up the prenup today and by the time we got home, he was a completely different person. I don't know what to do and I'm afraid for him to be out there driving in the mood that he's in."
"I'm more worried about you getting worked up and stressed out, as pregnant as you are. The first thing you need to do is calm down."
"I don't think I can."
"Have you tried calling him?"
"Um, no..."
"Try to call him. I'm leaving the studio, I'll swing by there on my way home, okay? I'm leaving right now."
Mel nodded into the phone. "Okay."
"We'll get in touch with him, we'll sort this out. It'll be okay."
"Okay," she repeated quietly.
In half an hour, Mel found her shoes and her jacket and struggled to keep from getting worked up as she constantly tried to reach Tay to no avail. She was growing increasingly sick with worry and hurt.
The front door opened and her heart skipped a beat as she whipped her head around, hoping for Tay, but seeing Zac. In that moment, she couldn't keep it together any longer. She wrapped her arms around him and hugged him tight, the tears starting to flow. "I don't know what happened," she cried. "I just don't know."
"It's okay," he said soothingly.
"It's his baby. It's not possible for it to be anyone's but his. I didn't sleep with Jason in Chicago. I haven't slept with him since Tay and I have been together. This whole time, all this time. This is Tay's baby."
"I know."
"You believe me?"
"Of course I believe you."
"Thank you," she squeaked out.
"Have you heard from him?"
She shook her head. "He keeps forwarding me to voicemail. He's ignoring my calls. Why is he ignoring me? What did I do?"
"Come on," he said, leading her toward the front door. "I'm taking you to my house. Kate knows you're coming. We're gonna get ahold of Tay and we're gonna get this sorted out."
"He's gonna kill me," she whispered.
"What?"
"When he finds out that I told you guys what was going on, he's going to be so pissed..."
"I don't give a shit. You let me deal with him. Everything will be fine. Let's go."
Minutes later, Zac helped her into his truck and they were headed down the road. Halfway to his house, he started looking hard out his rearview mirror. "What in the hell is this, riding my ass?"
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TAYLOR
Taylor drove in silence, going in no direction in particular. The look on Mel's face as he walked out the door was heart-wrenching. What in the fuck was wrong with him? Why did he say those things to her? Why in the fuck did Jason make her smile the way she did? He hated it. He couldn't stand it. But then Zac made her smile the same way. Why hadn't he noticed that before? Mel and Zac were close. They were friends. She couldn't be friends with Jason like that?
Mel and Zac had never slept together. And Zac wasn't in love with her. That was the difference.
He let out a breath as his mind wandered in a jumbled mess. Of course the baby was his. He knew it was. It wasn't a matter of convincing himself, it was a matter of fact. Mel was carrying his child. Point blank. So for him to come out and question her like he did was merely meant to hurt her. Why would he want to hurt the woman he loved? Why did he stand there and make sure that she felt berated and devastated? He found himself beating the steering wheel. Why was he such a goddamn bastard?
He'd done so good for awhile. What changed? Stress from the prenup? That couldn't have been it. Drawing up the prenup hadn't exactly been stressful as much as it was time-consuming and tedious. Was the reality of it all starting to cave in? They were three weeks from the wedding, prenup in hand, and shit was getting real. Was he really ready for this?
Of course he was, he was born ready.
Suddenly a thought popped into his head and he racked his brain through that morning's activities. They had gotten a late start. They were running behind to the appointment, but Mel had insisted on making breakfast. Then he'd showered and he'd dressed...
And then it hit him--it had been two days since he needed to refill his medication. He hadn't taken anything for two days. He would have been proud of himself had this episode not happened.
He knew he couldn't blame it all on the drugs. He guessed the truth was, he was naturally intimidated by Jason. He had been since the first time he met him. The both of them were alpha males with one thing in common--the one thing they both desired the most. And that could be a dangerous combination.
And so, in his fear of Jason, he had taken it out on Mel. Except the struggle was within himself, and he was getting better at dealing with it. But maybe he'd relapsed today. Maybe in a state of exhaustion and irritability, he'd had a moment of weakness. Those couldn't happen, though. He wasn't allowed moments of weakness because then things like this happened. Then, you said heinous things to your pregnant fiancée and then you fucking walk out on her. Tay shook his head in disbelief at himself. He had grabbed up his keys and left her alone in that house to deal with the aftermath of his bastard mood swing on her own.
Tay, you fucking idiot!
His tires screeching to a halt, he turned around right in the middle of the road. If she didn't marry him now, he deserved it. He wouldn't beg her to stay because he deserved it. She was right, how dare he?
Picking up speed, he turned into their neighborhood on two wheels and sped into the driveway. Bursting through the front door, the house was quiet. He searched every single room, and found nothing. He called her and got no answer and he couldn't hear her phone ringing in the house. She was gone. But her Jeep was still there.
After that, Tay drove all over town. He called her parents, he called his mother, he called Nikki. She was nowhere. Where the hell--"Zac," he said to himself aloud. Why hadn't Zac been the first person he called?
As he dialed Zac on his phone, he looked up out the windshield and was shocked when he realized he was behind him on the road. Zac answered as Tay flew to catch up with him. "Tell me that's not you tailgating my ass."
"Is she with you?"
"She and your unborn child, so you need to stay the fuck off my ass."
"Pull over, I need to talk to her."
"You'll talk to her when we get to my house."
"Zac, please--"
"No. You don't get to call the shots here. How could you, Tay? How could you treat her like that? How does someone in their right mind treat the person they love like that? I'm an asshole. I'm not the greatest husband in the world. But I would NEVER say half the shit to my wife that you say to Mel. It's disgusting. And you expect her to marry you."
"Zac, I know, I just--I just realized I've been off my meds for the past two days--"
"Don't play that card," Zac said. "Everyone knows that there's an ounce of truth to anything that's said, no matter the influence you're under." Then he started talking in the background. "He's saying he's out of his meds, I think that's bull--what?"
Then he heard Mel in the background, "Just fucking pull over!"
Zac pulled off the side of the road of the back road they were driving on and Tay pulled in behind him. He had barely turned off the engine when he was out the door and headed to the passenger side of Zac's truck. To his surprise, Mel met him halfway and threw her arms around his neck and burst into tears as he held her close, stroking her hair. Against him, he could feel the subtle kicking of the baby in her belly. "I guess the baby's mad at me, too," he mumbled into her hair.
Mel sniffed and nodded. "Can you blame it? You left us."
He drew in a breath and held her tighter. "I'm so sorry," he whispered.
"Is it true? You haven't taken your meds in two days?"
"Yeah. It slipped my mind or something, I don't know. But that's no excuse for my behavior awhile ago."
Mel pulled away and looked up at him. "What did I do to you to make you say such hateful things?"
He shook his head, his heart breaking. "No--"
"Do you want a paternity test when the baby's born? Will that make you feel better?"
"No."
"I thought we were past all this? I thought that chapter in our relationship was over? Everything's been going so well, we've been so happy--"
"I don't ever want you to be unhappy."
"Then why--?"
"I don't--I just--"
"I won't go through life like this. I can't go through life listening to you say, 'It's not you, it's me.' That phrase is starting to feel like a crutch to get you off the hook."
He shifted his weight anxiously, fighting tears that his overwhelming emotions seemed to want to produce. He couldn't cry. He couldn't. Especially not with Zac sitting there, watching their every move through his rearview mirror. "I know. Mel, I am so sorry. So sorry. You have to believe me."
"I love you, Tay. I only love you. I've only ever loved you. And I would never do anything to hurt you. At least, not intentionally. I've laid my life in your hands and I'll follow you anywhere you want to lead me, blindly. Because I trust you. And I need you to feel the same way about me."
"I do," he said anxiously. "I swear to god, I do. Please don't think that--"
"But I don't feel it. I know you love me. I know you'd do anything for me. But I don't feel trusted. And that hurts me because I've done nothing to deserve that. And you know it."
"Tell me what to do," he said, touching her cheek and rubbing her skin with his thumb. "I need you. I need you to tell me what to do. I need you to take my hand and show me the way. I get so lost sometimes--"
"Invite Jason to the wedding."
"What?"
"Invite Jason to the wedding. He knows about it. And I know he hasn't received an invitation. He probably won't come because I'm sure he won't get time off his film in that short of notice to make it, but it's the sentiment that counts. Invite him, personally."
"Um--"
"He's my best friend. He's as much family to me as Zac and Ike are. And I'm allowed to have friends. So invite him."
Tay took a deep breath and studied her eyes for a moment before he nodded. "Okay. Okay, yeah. I'll, uh, I'll do that."
"Also, we're going straight to the pharmacy." She stood on her tiptoes and kissed his lips gently. "We're not doing this shit again."
As Mel made her way to the passenger side of Tay's vehicle, Tay took a deep breath and walked over to Zac's window. Zac rolled it down and looked at him, stone-faced. "Look, man, thank you," Tay said. "I know I can be a class act jerk and I'm sorry you got put in the middle of this--"
"This is bullshit," Zac said bluntly. "I swear, if you don't get your fucking act together, so help me god, I will beat your ass. This is getting really old."
"I know. I'm sorry--"
"After you're married, if this shit starts to happen on a regular basis--or even a semi-regular basis, I'll help her pack her fucking bags myself. There is no amount of medication that could possibly keep you from being the complete dick that you are sometimes. Like I said before, I haven't been the best husband to Kate, I know, but I'll be goddamned if she ever goes through anything like this. Ike wouldn't do it to Nikki and Dad wouldn't do it to Mom. Get your shit together."
On that note, Zac rolled up his window, put his truck into gear, and merged back into traffic. After taking another deep breath and watching him drive away, Tay got behind the wheel next to Mel and looked at her. "He just tore me a new asshole."
"I'm sorry," she said quietly.
"I'm not. Guess sometimes it takes your baby brother's foul mouth to drive it right home for you." Merging into traffic himself, he found a place to turn around and headed home with Mel in the opposite direction.
-------------------------------------------------
Alternate Jason chapter: http://tyamwedding.weebly.com/no-keia-la-no-keia-po-a-mau-loa-alternate.html
TAYLOR
The week after they had returned from New York, Taylor had hit the ground running at work. They had a tour to make up for coming up in a few short months, rehearsals needed to happen, a Livestream from New York was in the works and plenty of fan club plans were starting to be thrown on the table for discussion for the next year. He hadn't gotten home before ten at night all week long.
Admittedly, the one thing he did miss about New York, or being out of town with Mel in general, was how it seemed to strip their cares and their worries away. The pressures of home seemingly flew out the window, and he knew that was pretty much the idea of any out-of-town trip. But when they were away, it was just the two of them. No outside influences, nothing to tie them down or hold them back. It made him remember that they were best friends as well as lovers and that was something he cherished.
That particular day, Zac hadn't come in the studio and Isaac needed to duck out early, so Tay decided to call it an early day, as well. He wouldn't let it show in front of his brother, but he was excited as hell to go home when it was still daylight. His mind raced on the way home. They'd have dinner, relax, talk about the baby, the wedding...the prenup...shit. They hadn't even touched the prenup subject and the wedding was fast approaching. Almost too fast. Well, there went a peaceful evening, after all.
Walking into the house and into the living room, Tay stopped short, confused. There was a table by the kitchen doorway. One that had been there for ages. And there Mel sat, on the floor in front of it, facing it, a bucket beside her as she went to town on the leg with a toothbrush as she held the phone on her ear. She had done some peculiar things since she'd been pregnant, but this one nearly took the cake.
"I'm not saying they have to get married, Zac," she was saying into the phone, her ponytail bouncing as she scrubbed the table leg. "I'm simply saying we should hook them up. It would be great. He's single, she's single, we take them to dinner--hey! We'd go with them, like a double date!...Oh Jesus, Zac, everybody around here knows better, don't flatter yourself...Okay, fine, I'll bring Tay and you bring Kate--and hey, while we're at it, we can just throw Ike and Nikki in the mix and make a group thing out of it!"
Behind her, Tay narrowed his eyes and smiled, leaning up against the back of the sofa, crossing his arms in front of his chest. What in the hell was she up to now?
"Why?" Mel whined into the phone. "Brad's a good guy, I think he'd really like her...Well, I wouldn't have suggested him if I didn't think she'd like him, too...How does he feel about curly hair?...Oh, of course you wouldn't know, men supposedly don't talk about shit like that...Yeah, yeah...Okay...No...No, you call him and get back to me...Zac, please!" Then she pouted. "Because I'm pregnant and you love me...Okay, great, you're so awesome!...Thanks, I owe you one!...Okay...Okay...Bye!"
Mel giggled as she put the phone on the floor next to her as she steadily busied herself, dipping the toothbrush into the bucket and vigorously scrubbing the table leg. Suddenly, she said, "I know you're standing there."
A grin spread across Tay's face. "You heard me come in, huh?"
"Of course I did."
"And you didn't care to acknowledge me."
"You didn't acknowledge me, either."
"Touche." Tay stood from the sofa and walked over to her, squatting down to her level. "What the hell are you doing?"
She stopped scrubbing for a moment and looked at him. "Baby-proofing."
He looked at her, incredulous. "Baby-proofing? We still have awhile before it's even born, much less mobile--"
"Oh, you can never be too prepared," she said, matter-of-factly. "Look in that bucket. You wouldn't believe the dirt and the grime that gets on these things! You don't want the baby touching these things then putting its hands in its mouth. That's horrible!"
He guessed she had a point, though he couldn't really wrap his head around the weirdness of it. He found himself looking around the room. "Um, Mel? Sweetheart? What have you done all day?"
She looked around the room, her ponytail swishing behind her. "Everything," she said simply. "All of the table legs, chair legs, everything. It was all horrible. All of it."
"In this room...?"
"The entire house. Most of it wasn't so bad."
Tay felt himself gaping at her in shock. "This is--this is all you've done today."
She nodded, concentrating on her scrubbing again.
"Are you--? You know what? No. You're done. No more of this today."
She looked over at him, offended. "Tay, I need to finish this! And then after this I need to clean out the refrigerator. I have a busy night ahead of me."
Tay stood and gently took the toothbrush out of her hand and dropped it in the bucket. "No, you don't." He offered her his hand and she reluctantly took it, struggling to stand up, her belly getting in her way. He couldn't help but smile. "You're done for the night. You need a break." He nodded toward the bathroom. "Come on. It's probably time to shave your legs again, isn't it?"
Shyly, she smiled and nodded and she allowed him to lead her to the bathroom.
-----------------------------------------------------------
MEL
Half an hour later, Mel and Taylor sat together in the deep, garden tub, Mel's back to Tay as he wrapped his arms around her in the hot, soothing water. Mel was burning up. "It's hot in here," she said listlessly.
"We're waist-deep in hot water, sweetheart," Tay said, quietly. "What do you expect? We go through this every time, it's always the same."
"I know."
"You want me to run a little cold water?"
"No. Just hold me."
"Okay." He kissed her shoulder and rested his chin on it as his hand dropped down to her stomach. "How's the baby today?"
Mel sighed. "I don't think the baby likes it when I clean. It seems happier when I relax."
"I hate calling it 'it.' I wish you would have found out the gender."
"Isn't it fun to be surprised?"
"Well--I mean, yeah, I guess..."
"I thought you were old-fashioned?"
"I am. Sort of. With most things."
"Are you excited?"
"I can't wait. I'm completely stoked."
Mel smiled. "I'm scared."
She felt Tay turn his head, his lips closer to her ear. "Scared?" He said quietly. "Why are you scared?"
"What if the baby hates me? What if I suck at parenting? What if I'm a horrible mother?"
"You have nothing to be afraid of," he assured her. "You're going to be a fantastic mother and that baby is going to love you. I promise."
"Don't make promises you can't keep."
"I'm not really in that business anymore. I made some mistakes in the past. I'm not that person anymore. You're safe with me. Okay?"
"I know."
He reached out to the side and took the cup from the side of the tub, filled it, and set it back on the edge. "You ready to do this?"
Mel nodded. "Yeah. Let's get this over with."
"Oh, hush, you like it. Turn around here."
They had done this several times before already and Tay was quickly becoming a pro. This was one of the things Mel would miss when she wasn't pregnant anymore. Maybe she could convince him to make this happen every now and again anyway. She smiled at the thought as she lay back and rested her head at the opposite end of the tub, extending her leg and letting her foot rest against Tay's shoulder.
Gently, he applied the shaving cream along the length of her leg. Even more gently, and carefully, he ran the razor up her leg, one easy stroke at a time, rinsing the razor in the cup before starting another stroke. Mel was silent and she smiled as she watched him concentrating so hard. It was the little things in life. The small, quiet moments like this one, that made her heart melt.
Tay managed to ruin it in a matter of seconds.
He glanced in the water between her legs. "So you can shave there, but you can't shave your legs," he observed.
Mel raised an eyebrow. "Brazilian. No damn way I'm letting anything get out of hand down there."
"Couldn't wax your legs?"
"I like when you shave my legs," she pouted.
"Okay," he responded simply. Then he was silent again as he finished her leg and she transitioned to have the other one done.
When he was finished, and Mel found herself ever-amazed, once again, at how he managed to keep the bathwater clean from shaving residue, he rubbed her leg and asked, "Want me to wash your hair?"
She shook her head. "No thank you. I did that this morning."
"You like when I wash your hair."
She smiled. "I do. But it's not necessary this time." She paused for a moment. "You're so good to me. Sometimes I think you're too good to me."
"Well, I love you."
"I love you more," she grinned. "Hey, you want me to make you something special tonight?"
"I don't want you to do anything tonight. Not after I found out you spent all damn day on the floor."
"It wasn't that bad."
"I don't like it."
"You weren't here."
"You make me nervous sometimes. The thought of you home alone and pregnant makes me nervous. And you're only getting more and more...well, pregnant."
"Tay, I'm perfectly fine, I promise. I'm not going to get myself into a situation I can't get out of."
"But what about the time when you do?"
"Tay--"
"I know, I know, I just--I worry."
Mel smiled, her heart melting. "I appreciate your concern. I really do. But I promise you, the only thing different about going through every day life right now is my belly. And my lack of ability to consume alcohol--which, by the way, I want a goddamn glass of wine to be in my hand the second I pop that kid out."
Tay laughed and Mel laughed with him. Then she raised an eyebrow. "Anything I can do for you while we find ourselves in this position, Mr. Hanson?"
He smiled at her in thought. "I'm naked in a bathtub with a gorgeous woman. This should be an instantaneous response. However, I think what I want would be better accomplished outside the tub."
"Then why are we still here?" She said, seductively.
With that, Tay reached behind him and pulled the plug.
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TAYLOR
The sex was amazing. Something in the way she rode him, the sweat that glistened on her face, the way she threw her head back and breathed her moans as she said his name. Taylor had to sit up to watch her. She was so fucking hot. Now he sat at the island in the kitchen, watching Mel cook at her insistence, unable to get their post-bath romp out of his head.
He watched her in silence for a few minutes, listening to the sounds of her bare feet on the kitchen tile and to the dishes as they clanged together while she cooked. She was like magic. The perfect woman. 'A whore in the bedroom and a cook in the kitchen,' as the saying went. In public, she carried herself with class and confidence--unless she was fighting someone.
Speaking of fighting, Tay also sat in silence, drumming up the nerve to talk about the subject they had both procrastinated in bringing up--the prenuptial agreement. He didn't necessarily believe in those, though with Natalie, he hadn't been more thrilled to have it. But with Mel it was different. They didn't need a prenup. Even if, god forbid, things went wrong, he liked to think that they would still respect each other in their parting. Still, though. With both of them having a net worth an impressive amount of zeros between the two of them, it was seemingly necessary.
Finally, he took a deep breath and came out with it. "So. The wedding is less than a month away."
Mel turned around and flashed a smile at him. "I know."
"Um, so I think we kinda need to address the white elephant in the room."
She looked at him again and raised her eyebrow. "White elephant? You mean the baby?"
Tay smiled, seeing how his words were so easily misconstrued. "No. I mean the prenup."
He saw Mel's head drop and she fell silent as she concentrated on the concoction on the stove.
"You know we gotta do something," he continued gently.
She sighed. "I know. I just--I don't like the idea behind it. I don't like the idea of having the 'just in case' security. You know? It's like, 'Sure, you're getting married, but it may not last, so here's how you're going to break up just in case.' It's like--it's like predicting an end before there's even a beginning." She paused for a moment then she turned around and glanced at him. "But in some hypothetical, alternate universe, we DO end up divorcing, I don't want your money. I wouldn't do that to you."
"I don't want yours, either. But, Mel--we can make the prenup anything we want. It doesn't have to be TOTALLY business. We could have a little fun with it."
She turned the dial on the stove down and put a lid on the pot she'd been working on. Turning around, she leaned against the counter next to the stove and raised an eyebrow. "A little fun?"
Tay gave her a half smile and shrugged. "Sure, why not? It's our prenup, we can do whatever we want. Did you and John not have a prenup?"
Mel shook her head. "No. We just--got married. I wasn't worth anything then and nobody counted on him dying, so. Or, well, fake dying. You know."
"Well, look. We'll make it simple. In the unlikely event anything happens, I keep my money, you keep yours, and we all live happily ever after."
"Until I kill you."
"What?"
"If we divorce, it sure as hell won't be my fault," Mel said. "I'll kill you before you divorce me. Maybe we should be making changes to your will instead of drawing up a prenup."
Tay chuckled. "Neither one of us are divorcing the other or killing the other. I know the idea seems a little...morose, for lack of a better term, but--I mean--"
"I know," she said, nodding. "I know. It's kinda necessary."
"Yeah..."
"So okay. That's it, then."
"Yeah. That's it..."
"We'll go and, uh, do the prenup thing."
Tay wiped his sweaty palms on his pants. "Yeah..."
"Can I be creative with your murder in the prenup?"
"I don't think incriminating yourself is a good idea. When I die, they'll get you for premeditated murder. I think a charge for premeditation is heavier than one that's, like, a crime of passion or something."
"Oh, I'm sure I'll be passionate about it."
"I don't doubt it."
"Can we have a clause with, like, Batmobiles and UFO's? Like, a bunch of crazy shit that doesn't exist or we'll never own? And decide who gets what? Ooh! I want a princess castle! With a guard dragon. When we buy my imaginary castle and raise my imaginary dragon, I totally want those out of the prenup."
"As long as I get to keep my sprawling, underground estate, you can have whatever you want."
"Underground?"
"Well, yeah. You're probably gonna stand in the tower of your castle and command your dragon to kill me, so I'm gonna need a place to hide."
"Oh, yeah. Good point."
"I kinda feel like we should be on drugs right now."
"Don't piss me off. I can't have drugs. Or alcohol. My crazy is simply hormonal. I only wish it was substance-induced."
Tay couldn't help but laugh. "Our attorneys are going to think we've lost our minds."
---------------------------------------------------------------
MEL
Except that they nearly did. A couple days later, Mel and Taylor sat with their attorneys, writing up the prenuptial agreement. They didn't know why they thought this would be easy. They thought they'd walked in with all the answers, they'd put it on paper, and voila. However, such was not the case and they ended up in that office for hours, answering questions they couldn't believe they'd never thought of.
They'd spent hours in that office, nearly all day, perfecting it all and getting it all right, only to sign it and find out that the judge could have a problem with a prenup this close to the wedding. It seemed to be just one more thing to stress about--what if the judge wouldn't pass it?
When they finally got out of there, both of their brains were fried and the ride home was silent. Mel was exhausted. She nearly fell asleep in the Jeep and all she wanted to do was take a nap when they got home.
She had noticed that Tay was acting a little irritable, so she decided to keep her distance and let him chill out when they got home. Mel made herself comfortable with a blanket and a pillow on the sofa while Tay escaped to the music room. It was where he always retreated to when he took to brooding. She didn't think much of it. He'd bang out a few tunes on the piano, get whatever stress there was out of his system, and emerge normal again. She was used to it by now.
She had just begun to doze off when Jason called her. Smiling, she answered and they had a conversation, much like the norm. He talked about onset life, she talked about pregnancy. Then she talked about the prenup. There wasn't anything she didn't tell Jason. He knew it all.
He had just cracked a joke and Mel found it wildly hilarious when Tay suddenly emerged from the music room and entered the living room. He stopped in his tracks and narrowed his eyes at her. "I thought you were sleeping?"
Mel held the phone away from her mouth. "Uh, I was--"
He turned and walked toward the kitchen, muttering, "I should have put HIM in the damn prenup."
She didn't know if Tay had intended for her to hear it or not, but she had and it wasn't something that could be taken back. The comment hit her in the heart, hard, on multiple levels and she was completely confused. Into the phone, she said to Jason, "Uh, I gotta go..."
"What's going on?" He asked, his intuition never failing him.
"I'm not sure...if this conversation I'm about to have with Tay goes in the direction I think it's gonna go in, I'm gonna need an alibi. And I'm putting you on the spot."
"Hey, you've been in Europe with me this whole time. Baby belly and all. I got you."
Mel smiled into the phone and thanked him before she hung up. Then she struggled to get off the couch and stood in the doorway of the kitchen as Tay stood against the counter, turning up a beer. She stood there, crossing her arms, staring at him.
He raised an eyebrow at her. "Am I a sight for sore eyes, or what?"
She glared at him. "What in the fuck is your problem?"
"Did I say I had a problem?"
"You don't have to. You're oozing your usual asshole charm."
He raised his eyebrows and smiled at her, amused. "My usual asshole charm. That's what you really think of me, then?"
"At times like this, yes."
He sat his unfinished beer on the counter and walked past her, eying her. "Well then let me just get out of your hair and then you can finish your private conversation with your little boy toy over there in Europe."
Mel's eyes widened and her jaw dropped in shock. Where was this COMING from? Why was he talking to her this way?
She turned on her heel and marched out of the kitchen, following him. Catching him by the arm, he stopped and turned around. "No," Mel said firmly. "You don't get to be so vulgar with me and then turn around and walk away!"
"Just leave me alone, okay?"
"No! No, I will not! I left you alone. When we got home, I left you alone, I let you go and do your thing. And now you're just gonna--"
"You left me alone to have a private conversation with HIM!"
"There was nothing private about it, it was out in the damn open. I woulda had the conversation right in front of you if you'd been in here."
"You're lying. You're standing there lying to my face right now."
Mel was speechless. This was just so sudden, it was just so--so random. Had something happened in the attorney's office today that she hadn't been aware of? She lowered her voice. "Am I missing something here? I thought we were past all this?"
"Well. Maybe we're not. I don't know. Maybe I'm just--just counting it down."
"Until what?"
"Is that baby mine?" He blurted out.
As an immediate reflex, an action she couldn't control, she slapped him across the face. Hard. "How dare you?"
Holding his cheek, his nostrils flared and he glared at her. There was shock in his eyes. Good.
"After all this. After everything we've been through," she continued. "And you still can't trust me. I can't believe you. And you know what's even worse? After all this time--ALL this time--I have never once given you a reason not to trust me. Not once. I've always been honest and I have always been up front. We're three weeks from the wedding and now you're--" She felt her breathing starting to quicken. "And now you're--"
"You're the one who left me," he spat at her. "I needed you and you left me."
"YOUR'E THE ONE WHO PUSHED ME AWAY, TAY! You PUSHED me away! I spent three months holed up in that condo in New York and never ONCE were you willing to come and see me. Never ONCE! I asked you on more than one occasion, I practically begged you, and you would NOT see me!"
"But you spent plenty of time with Jason, didn't you?"
Mel gaped at him. "Because you TOLD me to, goddammit! I called him because you TOLD me to! I did everything you told me to do! I waited on our marriage, I sat there alone and let you NOT visit me, I called Jason, I did what you told me to do! What is your problem NOW?"
He stared back at her for a moment before he wordlessly charged past her and toward the front door, scooping his keys off the table in the foyer. Mel followed him, her heart sinking. "Tay," her voice rang out in wrangled desperation. "Where are you going?"
"I don't know," he muttered. And he slammed the front door behind him.
Mel stood there, gaping at the front door he had just walked out of. She was devastated. She was confused and devastated and offended. What had happened here? She stood in place and looked around for a moment, lost. Then she went on a frantic search for her phone and she called Zac. "Zac," she said into the phone, her voice shaking, a fighting attempt to not cry. "Where are you right now? Are you at home?"
"Are you okay?" He asked her. "Where's Tay?"
The panic was starting to build quickly. "I don't know. I don't know where he is. He just, he picked up his keys and left, I don't know where he is."
"What are you talking about, what happened?"
"We had a fight--"
"About what?"
"He dredged up all the old stuff. Jason and our split up and--Zac, he asked me if the baby was his."
"Shit..."
"It was like he went schizo on me or something. We, uh, we went to draw up the prenup today and by the time we got home, he was a completely different person. I don't know what to do and I'm afraid for him to be out there driving in the mood that he's in."
"I'm more worried about you getting worked up and stressed out, as pregnant as you are. The first thing you need to do is calm down."
"I don't think I can."
"Have you tried calling him?"
"Um, no..."
"Try to call him. I'm leaving the studio, I'll swing by there on my way home, okay? I'm leaving right now."
Mel nodded into the phone. "Okay."
"We'll get in touch with him, we'll sort this out. It'll be okay."
"Okay," she repeated quietly.
In half an hour, Mel found her shoes and her jacket and struggled to keep from getting worked up as she constantly tried to reach Tay to no avail. She was growing increasingly sick with worry and hurt.
The front door opened and her heart skipped a beat as she whipped her head around, hoping for Tay, but seeing Zac. In that moment, she couldn't keep it together any longer. She wrapped her arms around him and hugged him tight, the tears starting to flow. "I don't know what happened," she cried. "I just don't know."
"It's okay," he said soothingly.
"It's his baby. It's not possible for it to be anyone's but his. I didn't sleep with Jason in Chicago. I haven't slept with him since Tay and I have been together. This whole time, all this time. This is Tay's baby."
"I know."
"You believe me?"
"Of course I believe you."
"Thank you," she squeaked out.
"Have you heard from him?"
She shook her head. "He keeps forwarding me to voicemail. He's ignoring my calls. Why is he ignoring me? What did I do?"
"Come on," he said, leading her toward the front door. "I'm taking you to my house. Kate knows you're coming. We're gonna get ahold of Tay and we're gonna get this sorted out."
"He's gonna kill me," she whispered.
"What?"
"When he finds out that I told you guys what was going on, he's going to be so pissed..."
"I don't give a shit. You let me deal with him. Everything will be fine. Let's go."
Minutes later, Zac helped her into his truck and they were headed down the road. Halfway to his house, he started looking hard out his rearview mirror. "What in the hell is this, riding my ass?"
------------------------------------------------------
TAYLOR
Taylor drove in silence, going in no direction in particular. The look on Mel's face as he walked out the door was heart-wrenching. What in the fuck was wrong with him? Why did he say those things to her? Why in the fuck did Jason make her smile the way she did? He hated it. He couldn't stand it. But then Zac made her smile the same way. Why hadn't he noticed that before? Mel and Zac were close. They were friends. She couldn't be friends with Jason like that?
Mel and Zac had never slept together. And Zac wasn't in love with her. That was the difference.
He let out a breath as his mind wandered in a jumbled mess. Of course the baby was his. He knew it was. It wasn't a matter of convincing himself, it was a matter of fact. Mel was carrying his child. Point blank. So for him to come out and question her like he did was merely meant to hurt her. Why would he want to hurt the woman he loved? Why did he stand there and make sure that she felt berated and devastated? He found himself beating the steering wheel. Why was he such a goddamn bastard?
He'd done so good for awhile. What changed? Stress from the prenup? That couldn't have been it. Drawing up the prenup hadn't exactly been stressful as much as it was time-consuming and tedious. Was the reality of it all starting to cave in? They were three weeks from the wedding, prenup in hand, and shit was getting real. Was he really ready for this?
Of course he was, he was born ready.
Suddenly a thought popped into his head and he racked his brain through that morning's activities. They had gotten a late start. They were running behind to the appointment, but Mel had insisted on making breakfast. Then he'd showered and he'd dressed...
And then it hit him--it had been two days since he needed to refill his medication. He hadn't taken anything for two days. He would have been proud of himself had this episode not happened.
He knew he couldn't blame it all on the drugs. He guessed the truth was, he was naturally intimidated by Jason. He had been since the first time he met him. The both of them were alpha males with one thing in common--the one thing they both desired the most. And that could be a dangerous combination.
And so, in his fear of Jason, he had taken it out on Mel. Except the struggle was within himself, and he was getting better at dealing with it. But maybe he'd relapsed today. Maybe in a state of exhaustion and irritability, he'd had a moment of weakness. Those couldn't happen, though. He wasn't allowed moments of weakness because then things like this happened. Then, you said heinous things to your pregnant fiancée and then you fucking walk out on her. Tay shook his head in disbelief at himself. He had grabbed up his keys and left her alone in that house to deal with the aftermath of his bastard mood swing on her own.
Tay, you fucking idiot!
His tires screeching to a halt, he turned around right in the middle of the road. If she didn't marry him now, he deserved it. He wouldn't beg her to stay because he deserved it. She was right, how dare he?
Picking up speed, he turned into their neighborhood on two wheels and sped into the driveway. Bursting through the front door, the house was quiet. He searched every single room, and found nothing. He called her and got no answer and he couldn't hear her phone ringing in the house. She was gone. But her Jeep was still there.
After that, Tay drove all over town. He called her parents, he called his mother, he called Nikki. She was nowhere. Where the hell--"Zac," he said to himself aloud. Why hadn't Zac been the first person he called?
As he dialed Zac on his phone, he looked up out the windshield and was shocked when he realized he was behind him on the road. Zac answered as Tay flew to catch up with him. "Tell me that's not you tailgating my ass."
"Is she with you?"
"She and your unborn child, so you need to stay the fuck off my ass."
"Pull over, I need to talk to her."
"You'll talk to her when we get to my house."
"Zac, please--"
"No. You don't get to call the shots here. How could you, Tay? How could you treat her like that? How does someone in their right mind treat the person they love like that? I'm an asshole. I'm not the greatest husband in the world. But I would NEVER say half the shit to my wife that you say to Mel. It's disgusting. And you expect her to marry you."
"Zac, I know, I just--I just realized I've been off my meds for the past two days--"
"Don't play that card," Zac said. "Everyone knows that there's an ounce of truth to anything that's said, no matter the influence you're under." Then he started talking in the background. "He's saying he's out of his meds, I think that's bull--what?"
Then he heard Mel in the background, "Just fucking pull over!"
Zac pulled off the side of the road of the back road they were driving on and Tay pulled in behind him. He had barely turned off the engine when he was out the door and headed to the passenger side of Zac's truck. To his surprise, Mel met him halfway and threw her arms around his neck and burst into tears as he held her close, stroking her hair. Against him, he could feel the subtle kicking of the baby in her belly. "I guess the baby's mad at me, too," he mumbled into her hair.
Mel sniffed and nodded. "Can you blame it? You left us."
He drew in a breath and held her tighter. "I'm so sorry," he whispered.
"Is it true? You haven't taken your meds in two days?"
"Yeah. It slipped my mind or something, I don't know. But that's no excuse for my behavior awhile ago."
Mel pulled away and looked up at him. "What did I do to you to make you say such hateful things?"
He shook his head, his heart breaking. "No--"
"Do you want a paternity test when the baby's born? Will that make you feel better?"
"No."
"I thought we were past all this? I thought that chapter in our relationship was over? Everything's been going so well, we've been so happy--"
"I don't ever want you to be unhappy."
"Then why--?"
"I don't--I just--"
"I won't go through life like this. I can't go through life listening to you say, 'It's not you, it's me.' That phrase is starting to feel like a crutch to get you off the hook."
He shifted his weight anxiously, fighting tears that his overwhelming emotions seemed to want to produce. He couldn't cry. He couldn't. Especially not with Zac sitting there, watching their every move through his rearview mirror. "I know. Mel, I am so sorry. So sorry. You have to believe me."
"I love you, Tay. I only love you. I've only ever loved you. And I would never do anything to hurt you. At least, not intentionally. I've laid my life in your hands and I'll follow you anywhere you want to lead me, blindly. Because I trust you. And I need you to feel the same way about me."
"I do," he said anxiously. "I swear to god, I do. Please don't think that--"
"But I don't feel it. I know you love me. I know you'd do anything for me. But I don't feel trusted. And that hurts me because I've done nothing to deserve that. And you know it."
"Tell me what to do," he said, touching her cheek and rubbing her skin with his thumb. "I need you. I need you to tell me what to do. I need you to take my hand and show me the way. I get so lost sometimes--"
"Invite Jason to the wedding."
"What?"
"Invite Jason to the wedding. He knows about it. And I know he hasn't received an invitation. He probably won't come because I'm sure he won't get time off his film in that short of notice to make it, but it's the sentiment that counts. Invite him, personally."
"Um--"
"He's my best friend. He's as much family to me as Zac and Ike are. And I'm allowed to have friends. So invite him."
Tay took a deep breath and studied her eyes for a moment before he nodded. "Okay. Okay, yeah. I'll, uh, I'll do that."
"Also, we're going straight to the pharmacy." She stood on her tiptoes and kissed his lips gently. "We're not doing this shit again."
As Mel made her way to the passenger side of Tay's vehicle, Tay took a deep breath and walked over to Zac's window. Zac rolled it down and looked at him, stone-faced. "Look, man, thank you," Tay said. "I know I can be a class act jerk and I'm sorry you got put in the middle of this--"
"This is bullshit," Zac said bluntly. "I swear, if you don't get your fucking act together, so help me god, I will beat your ass. This is getting really old."
"I know. I'm sorry--"
"After you're married, if this shit starts to happen on a regular basis--or even a semi-regular basis, I'll help her pack her fucking bags myself. There is no amount of medication that could possibly keep you from being the complete dick that you are sometimes. Like I said before, I haven't been the best husband to Kate, I know, but I'll be goddamned if she ever goes through anything like this. Ike wouldn't do it to Nikki and Dad wouldn't do it to Mom. Get your shit together."
On that note, Zac rolled up his window, put his truck into gear, and merged back into traffic. After taking another deep breath and watching him drive away, Tay got behind the wheel next to Mel and looked at her. "He just tore me a new asshole."
"I'm sorry," she said quietly.
"I'm not. Guess sometimes it takes your baby brother's foul mouth to drive it right home for you." Merging into traffic himself, he found a place to turn around and headed home with Mel in the opposite direction.
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Alternate Jason chapter: http://tyamwedding.weebly.com/no-keia-la-no-keia-po-a-mau-loa-alternate.html