WHEN THE WIND BLOWS THROUGH YOUR HAIR
MEL
Several days in, in a prominent city, Mel was able to sneak away while Taylor was sleeping. He would be super pissed when he woke up, but it was a risk she was willing to take. She'd stayed awake on her phone most of the night researching this particular jeweler in this particular city and she fell in love with their selection of men's wedding bands. Today, she was on a mission.
The days that followed the first walk had been better. Maybe Zac had been right. Maybe the start of the tour had just really stressed Tay out. He seemed to be relaxing a little more and life around him was seemingly getting easier with each day. Maybe they would survive this tour after all.
Smiling at her own thought, the cab dropped her off at the curb of the jewelry store and she stepped out into the rain. Her palms didn't get sweaty, however, until she actually entered the store. She honestly didn't remember buying John's ring. It was kind of a blur. Actually, that whole time period seemed like a blur now--so much had happened since then. SO MUCH.
Swallowing the lump in her throat and taking a deep breath to calm her heart, Mel smiled at the man behind the glass counter. "Um, hi," she greeted him. "I'm Melody Banks, I had an appointment."
The bald man with the glasses smiled. "Ah, yes. Miss Banks. You're early."
She smiled. "I am. I'm kind of in a hurry so I guess it's a good thing I'm a quick shopper."
The man chuckled. "Well you've definitely come to the right place. What can I interest you in?"
"What do you have in white-gold? Simple white-gold."
As the man showed her his selection, one by one, as promised, it took Mel no time at all to pick out what she wanted. Tay was a simple, but elegant, type of man. His style was classic. And so the simple white-gold band she chose for him was perfect. "And I'd like it engraved," she said.
When she'd given her instructions for engraving--3, 10, and the infinity symbol--she asked to have it shipped to her home, paid for the extra insurance, and then checked her cell phone as she stepped out of the store. Twenty minutes. She smiled in relief.
Her phone had just started going off as she stepped onto the bus. Ignoring it, she walked on and watched Tay anxiously shove his phone into his pocket. "Where've you been?"
"Out."
"Out where?"
"Shopping."
"For what? I don't see any bags or anything."
"I had it shipped home."
"Had what shipped home?"
"Don't worry about it."
She saw anger flash in his eyes and instantly she felt her own blood begin to boil. "It's something for YOU."
And then he was calm again. "Hey, you wanna go get lunch?"
Mel's eyes widened in surprise. "With me? Just us?"
He laughed. "Yes, just us."
"Um, it's really wet out there..."
Tay shrugged. "So what? What's a little rain?"
Oddly, Mel wasn't sure whether to be ecstatic or nervous. He was just so unpredictable lately, you never knew which Taylor you were going to get each time you turned around. But she figured she'd milk THIS Taylor for all it was worth.
She smiled at him. "Yeah. Yeah, that would be great."
His grin widened as if he'd asked her out on their very first date. "Awesome. Let me just go change real quick."
As he disappeared to the back of the bus, Mel sat herself down and glanced uneasily around her. Zac sat in his usual spot, video game controller in hand. 'Let me just go change real quick,' she repeated his words in her mind. How ironic that he say this, considering she never knew what to expect out of him anymore.
Zac's eyes met hers and he immediately paused his video game. She stared across the bus at him for a moment in silence before she suddenly remembered what she had to tell him. Smiling, she darted across and sat next to him, turning toward him excitedly. "Guess what I got while I was out?"
He looked back at her blankly and she didn't give him time to answer. "I got Tay's wedding ring!" she hissed in a whisper. "Isn't that awesome?"
Zac's eyes darted toward the back of the bus then back at Mel. "Uh, yeah. Yeah, that's awesome."
His voice had seemed nonchalant but Mel chose not to pay attention. "I know. And guess what else?"
His eyes darted to the back of the bus again before he answered. "Uh, what?"
"I had it engraved! Well, I'm having it engraved. Then I'm having it shipped home."
Zac then turned his full attention to her, narrowing his eyebrows. "What if Tay ends up checking the mail?"
"I'm not gonna be on this entire tour, I'll get it way before he gets home--"
"At this point, I bet you a hundred bucks you're not leaving this tour."
"Do what?"
Zac shook his head. "Nothing. It was a--a joke...it's nothing."
"Okay...anyway, so I had it engraved with the number 3, the number 10, and the infinity symbol."
"That's an interesting combo..."
Mel couldn't stop grinning. "Well, 3 is the number of years we were when we became attached at the hip. 10 is the number of years it took for us to find our way. Infinity is the number of years we'll love each other." She sighed and leaned over, resting the side of her head on the back of the sofa and gazed over at him. "Isn't that so romantic?"
Zac sat back, resting his controller in his lap, and he laughed. "You think he'll get it?"
Mel raised her head and sighed. "I'll probably have to explain it to him. But I know he'll love it. He will, won't he? Is it corny? Do you think I have time to change my mind?"
Zac ran a hand through his hair. "Nah. Leave it alone, it's fine." Then his expression turned serious and he turned his head toward her. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah. I'm fine."
"No, I mean, in general. Not just right now."
She glanced down at her hands and nodded, tucking her hair behind her ear. "Yeah. I'm okay."
"You need me to talk to him or anything?"
She glanced up at Zac's concerned face nervously. "About what?"
"About whatever. Anything."
Mel shook her head. "Um, no. No, I don't think there's anything that needs talking about."
"I think you're trying to make it okay when it's not," he said softly.
She looked at him, alarmed. "What?"
"Come on. We can all see it. All of us. You're miserable. And he's--" Zac took a deep breath and sighed. "Mel, I've been having deja vu since day one of this tour."
"I know," she said, giving in. "Me, too."
"Except this time it's different."
"I know."
"He's my brother, but--everybody's afraid to even say anything to him. I've never seen this many faces on him since--"
"Since he shoved me against the bus and hit my head? It's okay. You can say it."
"And you want to marry him?"
Mel shook her head in disbelief. "What? Of course I do. I love him."
"Yeah, but at what expense?"
"We're just--it's just a rough patch, everybody has those. It'll pass."
"I'm just concerned, is all," he said softly. "Just remember who you are."
"You sound like a Disney movie."
"I'm serious. If I have any marriage advice to give you whatsoever, it's to never forget who you are. Don't change who you are for each other. Just enhance each other."
Mel swallowed hard as she looked into Zac's eyes. She couldn't help it, but she felt like his advice was two minutes too late. "Zac. I've already--"
"I know," he replied solemnly.
At that moment, the door that led to the back opened and Zac straightened himself up in record time. Glaring at Zac, Tay simply said to Mel, "Come on," as he took her hand and lifted her up from the couch.
As Tay led Mel off the bus, she looked back at Zac, who shook his head and went back to his video game.
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TAYLOR
"Tay--what was that about?" Mel asked Taylor as he began to lead her up the street. As they took off in the opposite direction of the venue, he was thankful that the rain was letting up and that there weren't many fans who'd decided to line up early because of it.
He chose to ignore her question as he pulled her next to him. "Let's get a room tonight," he suggested.
"A room?" she asked. "But we're leaving out for the next city immediately after tonight's show--"
"We're off tomorrow, it'll be fine. We can either spend the extra time here tonight or we can spend the extra time in the next city. I'd much rather spend the night alone with you than sitting for six extra hours on a bus with the other guys."
"Um, okay. I mean, if nobody else has a problem with it--"
"They won't."
He led her in the door of a small and trendy bar and grill, relieved to see that it was apparently a slow day. It was quiet and it was nearly empty and Tay relished in the fact that they would be able to eat quickly and in peace.
The hostess sat them at a small table near the bar and Tay had to smile when he watched Mel have to step up into her chair. He realized that sometimes he took the little things for granted and he loved how she seemed so small and how adorable she was when she had to adapt.
Going over that last thought in his head once again, he repeated it--'sometimes I take the small things for granted.' He could mean that literally. He could be talking about the small woman that now sat across from him. This made his heart heavy with guilt all of a sudden and a knot formed in the pit of his stomach.
When the server came by, he ordered a beer for himself and a chardonnay for Mel before Mel stopped the server to change her order. When the server left, Tay looked curiously across the table at her. "I figured wine would be just what the doctor ordered."
She shook her head. "No, thank you. I think I've been a little dehydrated lately, I haven't been feeling right. I think water would be good for me. I can't live on coffee, energy drinks, and wine, you know."
He nodded. "Yeah. I guess you're right. Touring can create very unhealthy eating habits."
Speaking of unhealthy, he watched as Mel ordered a small salad compared to the loaded burger that appealed to him from the menu. As the server left once again, he asked her, "Are you not hungry? 'Cause if you didn't want to come out today, you could have said no--"
"No--why do you say that?"
"Because normally you would have jumped all over the pasta and shrimp dish."
She smiled nervously. "Oh. Well, I guess you're right. I don't know. Maybe my appetite will come back in a few days."
Guilt hammered at his heart. Hard. He knew. She didn't know he knew, but he did. He knew that her problem was him. He also knew that she'd given up the fight to keep the peace. What she didn't know was that sometimes he needed that fight to keep him in line.
"Mel--" he started. "Um, look. I know. I know you're not happy...with me..."
She looked across the table at him in alarm. "Yes, I am."
He shook his head. "You're not. And I know it's my fault. I'm sorry I've been such a jerk to you. I'm really--I'm really trying to keep myself in check. I'm trying to work on it because I love you and you don't deserve to be treated the way I've been treating you."
"Well, it's not just me," she responded.
He nodded solemnly. "I know."
"Tay, nobody wants to speak to you because nobody knows what's going to happen. We're all walking on egg shells around you. And to be honest, I'm worried about you."
"I am, too," he said quietly.
"Do I need to be concerned about us?"
He swallowed the lump that had jumped into his throat and he stared into her eyes for a moment. "No. At least I hope not."
"Tay, I love you. And honestly, October can't come soon enough. I'm excited to marry you and I'm excited to start my life with you. I'm in this till the end."
"No matter what?"
"No matter what."
He smiled across the table at her. He wanted to be relieved. He wanted to know that everything was okay, but he honestly had a hard time even finding comfort in her words. Suddenly, a voice entered into his head he hadn't counted on. "God forbid this relationship would break up, it wouldn't be her that does it," Pastor Derek Bradley had said to him in their private session. Sure, the guy turned out to be a rat bastard in Mel's eyes, but it didn't keep him from making some valid points beforehand.
Break up? Well that hadn't even crossed Tay's mind. Pastor Bradley told him he had issues. To his face, he told him. Perhaps Tay hadn't taken him seriously? He didn't know, but now he was afraid that maybe his passive reaction to Pastor Bradley's words was now coming back to haunt him.
When their food came, the pair ate in silence for a few minutes. They managed to talk about random things. Mel even managed to crack a joke or two. They laughed and as they talked and they ate, Tay began to feel a little better. This was easy. Being with her was easy. It always had been.
A lull in conversation was caused by more chewing when the television above the bar managed to get their attention for the first time since they'd walked in the restaurant. "Coming up next on Access Hollywood, is Jason Kamealoha announcing his retirement from acting? Find out after the break."
As it went on commercial, Mel's fork hit her plate loudly as she whipped her head around at the screen. "I'll be damned," Tay muttered as he shoved a fry into his mouth.
Across the table, Tay watched his fiancée as she picked up her fork and began to spear a chunk of chicken onto it. "You wanna call him?" he asked her quietly. "Maybe talk him off the ledge?"
Mel shook her head and shoved her food into her mouth. "It's his decision," she said, her mouth full. "If that's what he wants to do, I'll support him. I don't have to call him to tell him."
"Mel," Tay objected. "You know what this is, don't you?"
"I KNOW what it is!" She said, the frustration and the guilt rising in her voice.
Taylor wasn't sure how to feel. He'd kept up with Jason after Mel had ended things with him. She didn't know it, but he did because he knew she wouldn't. She was clueless. He knew that after Jason was able to go back to work, stories came from the set of the movie he was working on that he had suddenly become difficult to work with. He knew that it had gotten so bad that they almost recast his role. And now he was retiring, so to speak. Tay knew why. He wasn't stupid. He knew it had everything to do with Mel. And now the sudden news was going to weigh heavy on her and he wished he knew how to make it better. Once again, he couldn't help but feel like this was his fault, as well.
When the show came back on, Tay looked at the screen but Mel wouldn't dare turn her head. In Jason's interview, he revealed his decision to take a break for awhile and maybe do some different things behind the camera. That maybe he would get back into it someday, but for now he'd rather focus on other activities. When asked what sparked his decision, he said it was personal and refused to comment beyond that.
Tay knew Mel heard every single word. The longer the interview played, the faster she ate. Tay rubbed his forehead and took a sip of his beer. "You can't keep doing this to yourself," he said to her.
"Doing what? I'm not doing anything."
"You miss him."
"That's life."
"Mel, call him. I don't want to be the one to sit here and feel like the bad guy because you're miserable without the people you care about. Call him."
Suddenly, Mel's fork forcefully found it's way down to her plate. "And say what, Tay? 'Oh, I know I said we couldn't be friends anymore, but wait, I was just kidding, here I am!' It's DONE. It's over. He'll survive just fine without me. He's done it before."
"I'm more concerned if YOU will."
She looked up from her plate and glared at him. "I'm fine."
Taylor sighed in defeat as he fished his wallet out of his pocket to pay the check.
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MEL
That night at the show, Mel stayed backstage and watched Taylor perform. These were always the best parts of the tour. He became a different person onstage--he became Taylor Hanson, and she loved it. She sat back there, tapping her foot and singing along to every song, feeling the energy that flowed from the crowd.
He played "Save Me" as his solo. Zac stood next to her as he downed nearly an entire bottle water and he watched with her, but she barely noticed he was there. Tears sprang to her eyes when Zac leaned into her ear and said, "This wasn't supposed to be his solo tonight."
As Tay finished the song, Zac left Mel's side. Tay walked backstage and directly into Mel's arms, holding her close and kissing her as tears fell down her cheeks. Quickly, he pressed his forehead into hers and told her he loved her before it was time for him to take the stage with his brothers again.
----------------------
When the wind blows through your hair
I want you so bad, I want you so bad
I see your smile, boy, everywhere
I want you so bad, I want you so bad
I never thought his could happen to me
If I've fallen over you
Would it be so bad, would it be so bad
Every night's an eternity
I want you so bad, I want you so bad
I never thought his could happen to me
I want you so bad, I want you so bad
When the wind blows through your hair
I want you so bad, I want you so bad
Oh, I wonder if you're aware
I want you so bad
I wonder if you care
I never thought this could happen to me
I want you so bad
As promised, they stayed in town and got a hotel room for the night. It was the most relaxed Mel had been in a couple of weeks. She took a long, hot shower and then she snuggled herself comfortably on the bed as she flipped channels on the television.
Ah, TV. She hadn't watched a decent show in awhile. As she watched the crime show that came on the screen, Tay came out of the bathroom. "I'm surprised you left any hot water for me," he joked.
She glanced at him and smirked. "You survived."
"Barely."
Shirtless, in nothing but a pair of pajama pants, Mel tried not to make it obvious as she eyed him getting into the bed. It never mattered how she felt about him in any given moment, she could never stop looking at him. Moving closer to her under the covers, she breathed the fresh shower scent that radiated off of him.
He lay on his side and looked up at her, hesitantly sliding his arm around her waist as she sat up in the bed. Gently, he tugged her close to him until she lay on her back underneath him. For a moment, he merely looked down at her as his fingers nonchalantly toyed with the cloth of her sweatshirt on her waist. "Is this okay?" he asked her. "If--if I do this?"
She searched his eyes as she responded. "It always is..."
He blushed and his eyes left hers for a moment before they returned. "I mean, last time we--and--I didn't know if--I'm so sorry."
She raised her arms and slid them around his neck. "That's in the past. We got over it. It's okay. Let's just try not to think about it anymore."
"Its just--every time I look at you I want you so bad and then I think about that night and--I just--"
"It's okay," Mel said, quietly. "I've wanted you, too."
He looked slightly shocked. "Really?"
"Every time you look at me, I want you. Every time you take my hand, I want you. With every single move you make, I want you. I can't help myself."
"And right now?"
"More than ever."
Bringing a hand to his face, she pulled him down and kissed him as she gently rolled him over onto his back. Flipping her wet hair to the side, she adjusted her body so she could reach his lips better as he tucked her hair behind her ear and rested his hand on the back of her head as she kissed him.
Her hand left his face and slowly ran over his chest and his shoulder. Letting his own hand fall, he caught her free hand with it and laced his fingers with hers. Gripping his hand tightly, she slowly brought it over his head as she brought a leg over him to straddle him. Adjusting herself on top of him and letting her body weight rest on the hand she held above his head, she kissed him again. She couldn't seem to stop kissing him this time. The rest of her body wanted him--badly--but she just couldn't tear her lips away. She couldn't get enough of the way he felt and the way he tasted and he didn't make any effort to stop her.
His free hand lowered to her bare leg and ran gently upward, sending chills all through her body. She broke the kiss and sucked in a breath as the chills nearly caused her to lose control of herself. Not that she was ready to orgasm yet, but as he touched her, it became increasingly difficult for her to keep her composure. She felt herself tremble on top of him and she closed her eyes and took the feeling in as he reached her upper thigh, silently cursing her shorts for being the barrier between their skin-on-skin contact.
Opening her eyes again, she caught him staring back into them, intently. "Are you okay?" he asked, his voice nearly inaudible.
"Yes," she breathed in response.
"I love you so much," he whispered.
Not bearing to hear another word, she covered his mouth with hers again, this time a little more eagerly than before. Underneath her, he began to lift himself up off the bed. Allowing the movement, he sat up and wrapped her legs around him and then held her tight against him as he switched positions to lay down across the bed. As he leaned down to kiss her again, his hand found its way just underneath her sweatshirt and the backs of his fingers brushed across her stomach, causing her to suck in her breath again.
Her nails grazed up his bare arms in anticipation. He touched her everywhere but where she wanted him to and she knew he wasn't meaning to tease her. She knew he was nervous. She wanted to give him the green light, but she wanted him to figure out on his own that he'd had it all along. She wanted him to get over his fear on his own.
However, within seconds, she decided she didn't have that kind of time to wait. "Give in," she whispered to him. "Let it happen."
He lifted his head and looked down at her for a moment. Then he tugged upward at her sweatshirt as she followed his lead and pulled it over her own head. Looking her over, he let his hand wander further, taking one of her breasts in his palm. She breathed inward and bit her lip as she looked up at him. A second later, she felt the change in his body and he lowered his head to take her neck with his mouth as he massaged her breast and worked her nipple through his fingers. Underneath him, she arched her back and lifted her chin so he could reach her neck better, her breath shortening as he hit multiple nerve endings at a time. Lowering his hand from her chest, he gripped her hip through her shorts as she rocked them against him from the bed. She could feel his erection through his pants and the anticipation began to excite her to no end.
As if he read her mind, he lifted himself off of her and onto his knees as he worked his pants off of his body. She took in a gasp as she looked at him in all his glory, every time feeling just like the very first time. The only difference was he was older now than he had been the first time and he looked better than ever to her. Following his lead, she lifted her hips off the bed and pulled her shorts over her legs, revealing herself underneath him.
Reaching down to her, she took his hand and he lifted her off of the bed and onto her knees to match his stance. Taking her tightly in his arms, he kissed her once more, feeling the heat from his skin and his heart pounding underneath hers. Gently, she attempted to push him backward and he hesitated. Looking into his eyes, she whispered to him, "Let me take you."
He searched her eyes silently for a moment before he gave in. As she pushed him backward, his eyes never left hers and he repositioned himself on his back as she straddled his lap once again. Reaching between her legs, she took him and guided him into her, lowering herself slowly onto him. She trembled at the first couple of strokes, silent as she closed her eyes and enjoyed the way his hardness felt inside of her. Flipping her hair out of her face, she looked down at him and witnessed his head off the pillow, watching her face and then his eyes gazing down her body. His jaw hung lazily open as he breathed in his pleasure, watching her have her way with him.
Adjusting her hips, she lowered her torso to be closer to him, the backs of her nails grazing upward along the middle of his chest. As she pressed her weight against his shoulder to ride him, the back of his head collapsed onto the pillow and he raised his chin and closed his eyes, allowing himself to lose full control, relenting to her completely. As she slowly and carefully rode him, he let out long, slow breaths, his chest heaving as he breathed inward.
Wrapping her hand along his jawline, she pulled his face down and lowered her mouth onto his. Opening his mouth, he invited her tongue to enter and he groaned into her mouth as he allowed his hands to grip her by the waist. Breaking the kiss, he lifted himself off the bed and braced himself with one of his hands as he wrapped the other one around her waist, pulling her tightly against him. As he sat up, he began to rock his waist, grinding into her and the motion caused her head to fall back as he hit her inside in exactly the right spot, thrust after thrust.
Finally, unable to control herself any longer, she hooked her arm around his neck and arched her back, changing the position of her hips in such a way that made her come, causing her to cry out his name unexpectedly. She sucked in a breath and gritted her teeth, moaning out a desperate, "Oh, Tay, yes!" as she let her head fall back and she finished.
Raising her head to look into his eyes, as he was still inside her, he narrowed his own for a moment before he took her and lay her back down on her back and entered her again, spreading her legs apart and running his hands up her thighs as he sat on his knees over her. As he worked himself inside her again, he began to fall weak quickly and he lowered himself close to her, tucking his hand underneath her head and tugging gently at a fistful of hair underneath her neck. Pulling her head backward, his mouth covered her neck and he breathed in her ear as he made love to her, causing her to moan with pleasure all over again. "One more time, sweetheart," he whispered to her. "One more time."
They came together, a symphony of pleasure and emotion. As he kissed her once more, she could feel the sweat pouring off of him but she didn't dare attempt to let him go. After a moment of silence, collecting themselves, Mel looked up at him and said quietly, "I'm tired."
"I know," he responded. And within mere seconds, she fell asleep in his arms.
MEL
Several days in, in a prominent city, Mel was able to sneak away while Taylor was sleeping. He would be super pissed when he woke up, but it was a risk she was willing to take. She'd stayed awake on her phone most of the night researching this particular jeweler in this particular city and she fell in love with their selection of men's wedding bands. Today, she was on a mission.
The days that followed the first walk had been better. Maybe Zac had been right. Maybe the start of the tour had just really stressed Tay out. He seemed to be relaxing a little more and life around him was seemingly getting easier with each day. Maybe they would survive this tour after all.
Smiling at her own thought, the cab dropped her off at the curb of the jewelry store and she stepped out into the rain. Her palms didn't get sweaty, however, until she actually entered the store. She honestly didn't remember buying John's ring. It was kind of a blur. Actually, that whole time period seemed like a blur now--so much had happened since then. SO MUCH.
Swallowing the lump in her throat and taking a deep breath to calm her heart, Mel smiled at the man behind the glass counter. "Um, hi," she greeted him. "I'm Melody Banks, I had an appointment."
The bald man with the glasses smiled. "Ah, yes. Miss Banks. You're early."
She smiled. "I am. I'm kind of in a hurry so I guess it's a good thing I'm a quick shopper."
The man chuckled. "Well you've definitely come to the right place. What can I interest you in?"
"What do you have in white-gold? Simple white-gold."
As the man showed her his selection, one by one, as promised, it took Mel no time at all to pick out what she wanted. Tay was a simple, but elegant, type of man. His style was classic. And so the simple white-gold band she chose for him was perfect. "And I'd like it engraved," she said.
When she'd given her instructions for engraving--3, 10, and the infinity symbol--she asked to have it shipped to her home, paid for the extra insurance, and then checked her cell phone as she stepped out of the store. Twenty minutes. She smiled in relief.
Her phone had just started going off as she stepped onto the bus. Ignoring it, she walked on and watched Tay anxiously shove his phone into his pocket. "Where've you been?"
"Out."
"Out where?"
"Shopping."
"For what? I don't see any bags or anything."
"I had it shipped home."
"Had what shipped home?"
"Don't worry about it."
She saw anger flash in his eyes and instantly she felt her own blood begin to boil. "It's something for YOU."
And then he was calm again. "Hey, you wanna go get lunch?"
Mel's eyes widened in surprise. "With me? Just us?"
He laughed. "Yes, just us."
"Um, it's really wet out there..."
Tay shrugged. "So what? What's a little rain?"
Oddly, Mel wasn't sure whether to be ecstatic or nervous. He was just so unpredictable lately, you never knew which Taylor you were going to get each time you turned around. But she figured she'd milk THIS Taylor for all it was worth.
She smiled at him. "Yeah. Yeah, that would be great."
His grin widened as if he'd asked her out on their very first date. "Awesome. Let me just go change real quick."
As he disappeared to the back of the bus, Mel sat herself down and glanced uneasily around her. Zac sat in his usual spot, video game controller in hand. 'Let me just go change real quick,' she repeated his words in her mind. How ironic that he say this, considering she never knew what to expect out of him anymore.
Zac's eyes met hers and he immediately paused his video game. She stared across the bus at him for a moment in silence before she suddenly remembered what she had to tell him. Smiling, she darted across and sat next to him, turning toward him excitedly. "Guess what I got while I was out?"
He looked back at her blankly and she didn't give him time to answer. "I got Tay's wedding ring!" she hissed in a whisper. "Isn't that awesome?"
Zac's eyes darted toward the back of the bus then back at Mel. "Uh, yeah. Yeah, that's awesome."
His voice had seemed nonchalant but Mel chose not to pay attention. "I know. And guess what else?"
His eyes darted to the back of the bus again before he answered. "Uh, what?"
"I had it engraved! Well, I'm having it engraved. Then I'm having it shipped home."
Zac then turned his full attention to her, narrowing his eyebrows. "What if Tay ends up checking the mail?"
"I'm not gonna be on this entire tour, I'll get it way before he gets home--"
"At this point, I bet you a hundred bucks you're not leaving this tour."
"Do what?"
Zac shook his head. "Nothing. It was a--a joke...it's nothing."
"Okay...anyway, so I had it engraved with the number 3, the number 10, and the infinity symbol."
"That's an interesting combo..."
Mel couldn't stop grinning. "Well, 3 is the number of years we were when we became attached at the hip. 10 is the number of years it took for us to find our way. Infinity is the number of years we'll love each other." She sighed and leaned over, resting the side of her head on the back of the sofa and gazed over at him. "Isn't that so romantic?"
Zac sat back, resting his controller in his lap, and he laughed. "You think he'll get it?"
Mel raised her head and sighed. "I'll probably have to explain it to him. But I know he'll love it. He will, won't he? Is it corny? Do you think I have time to change my mind?"
Zac ran a hand through his hair. "Nah. Leave it alone, it's fine." Then his expression turned serious and he turned his head toward her. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah. I'm fine."
"No, I mean, in general. Not just right now."
She glanced down at her hands and nodded, tucking her hair behind her ear. "Yeah. I'm okay."
"You need me to talk to him or anything?"
She glanced up at Zac's concerned face nervously. "About what?"
"About whatever. Anything."
Mel shook her head. "Um, no. No, I don't think there's anything that needs talking about."
"I think you're trying to make it okay when it's not," he said softly.
She looked at him, alarmed. "What?"
"Come on. We can all see it. All of us. You're miserable. And he's--" Zac took a deep breath and sighed. "Mel, I've been having deja vu since day one of this tour."
"I know," she said, giving in. "Me, too."
"Except this time it's different."
"I know."
"He's my brother, but--everybody's afraid to even say anything to him. I've never seen this many faces on him since--"
"Since he shoved me against the bus and hit my head? It's okay. You can say it."
"And you want to marry him?"
Mel shook her head in disbelief. "What? Of course I do. I love him."
"Yeah, but at what expense?"
"We're just--it's just a rough patch, everybody has those. It'll pass."
"I'm just concerned, is all," he said softly. "Just remember who you are."
"You sound like a Disney movie."
"I'm serious. If I have any marriage advice to give you whatsoever, it's to never forget who you are. Don't change who you are for each other. Just enhance each other."
Mel swallowed hard as she looked into Zac's eyes. She couldn't help it, but she felt like his advice was two minutes too late. "Zac. I've already--"
"I know," he replied solemnly.
At that moment, the door that led to the back opened and Zac straightened himself up in record time. Glaring at Zac, Tay simply said to Mel, "Come on," as he took her hand and lifted her up from the couch.
As Tay led Mel off the bus, she looked back at Zac, who shook his head and went back to his video game.
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TAYLOR
"Tay--what was that about?" Mel asked Taylor as he began to lead her up the street. As they took off in the opposite direction of the venue, he was thankful that the rain was letting up and that there weren't many fans who'd decided to line up early because of it.
He chose to ignore her question as he pulled her next to him. "Let's get a room tonight," he suggested.
"A room?" she asked. "But we're leaving out for the next city immediately after tonight's show--"
"We're off tomorrow, it'll be fine. We can either spend the extra time here tonight or we can spend the extra time in the next city. I'd much rather spend the night alone with you than sitting for six extra hours on a bus with the other guys."
"Um, okay. I mean, if nobody else has a problem with it--"
"They won't."
He led her in the door of a small and trendy bar and grill, relieved to see that it was apparently a slow day. It was quiet and it was nearly empty and Tay relished in the fact that they would be able to eat quickly and in peace.
The hostess sat them at a small table near the bar and Tay had to smile when he watched Mel have to step up into her chair. He realized that sometimes he took the little things for granted and he loved how she seemed so small and how adorable she was when she had to adapt.
Going over that last thought in his head once again, he repeated it--'sometimes I take the small things for granted.' He could mean that literally. He could be talking about the small woman that now sat across from him. This made his heart heavy with guilt all of a sudden and a knot formed in the pit of his stomach.
When the server came by, he ordered a beer for himself and a chardonnay for Mel before Mel stopped the server to change her order. When the server left, Tay looked curiously across the table at her. "I figured wine would be just what the doctor ordered."
She shook her head. "No, thank you. I think I've been a little dehydrated lately, I haven't been feeling right. I think water would be good for me. I can't live on coffee, energy drinks, and wine, you know."
He nodded. "Yeah. I guess you're right. Touring can create very unhealthy eating habits."
Speaking of unhealthy, he watched as Mel ordered a small salad compared to the loaded burger that appealed to him from the menu. As the server left once again, he asked her, "Are you not hungry? 'Cause if you didn't want to come out today, you could have said no--"
"No--why do you say that?"
"Because normally you would have jumped all over the pasta and shrimp dish."
She smiled nervously. "Oh. Well, I guess you're right. I don't know. Maybe my appetite will come back in a few days."
Guilt hammered at his heart. Hard. He knew. She didn't know he knew, but he did. He knew that her problem was him. He also knew that she'd given up the fight to keep the peace. What she didn't know was that sometimes he needed that fight to keep him in line.
"Mel--" he started. "Um, look. I know. I know you're not happy...with me..."
She looked across the table at him in alarm. "Yes, I am."
He shook his head. "You're not. And I know it's my fault. I'm sorry I've been such a jerk to you. I'm really--I'm really trying to keep myself in check. I'm trying to work on it because I love you and you don't deserve to be treated the way I've been treating you."
"Well, it's not just me," she responded.
He nodded solemnly. "I know."
"Tay, nobody wants to speak to you because nobody knows what's going to happen. We're all walking on egg shells around you. And to be honest, I'm worried about you."
"I am, too," he said quietly.
"Do I need to be concerned about us?"
He swallowed the lump that had jumped into his throat and he stared into her eyes for a moment. "No. At least I hope not."
"Tay, I love you. And honestly, October can't come soon enough. I'm excited to marry you and I'm excited to start my life with you. I'm in this till the end."
"No matter what?"
"No matter what."
He smiled across the table at her. He wanted to be relieved. He wanted to know that everything was okay, but he honestly had a hard time even finding comfort in her words. Suddenly, a voice entered into his head he hadn't counted on. "God forbid this relationship would break up, it wouldn't be her that does it," Pastor Derek Bradley had said to him in their private session. Sure, the guy turned out to be a rat bastard in Mel's eyes, but it didn't keep him from making some valid points beforehand.
Break up? Well that hadn't even crossed Tay's mind. Pastor Bradley told him he had issues. To his face, he told him. Perhaps Tay hadn't taken him seriously? He didn't know, but now he was afraid that maybe his passive reaction to Pastor Bradley's words was now coming back to haunt him.
When their food came, the pair ate in silence for a few minutes. They managed to talk about random things. Mel even managed to crack a joke or two. They laughed and as they talked and they ate, Tay began to feel a little better. This was easy. Being with her was easy. It always had been.
A lull in conversation was caused by more chewing when the television above the bar managed to get their attention for the first time since they'd walked in the restaurant. "Coming up next on Access Hollywood, is Jason Kamealoha announcing his retirement from acting? Find out after the break."
As it went on commercial, Mel's fork hit her plate loudly as she whipped her head around at the screen. "I'll be damned," Tay muttered as he shoved a fry into his mouth.
Across the table, Tay watched his fiancée as she picked up her fork and began to spear a chunk of chicken onto it. "You wanna call him?" he asked her quietly. "Maybe talk him off the ledge?"
Mel shook her head and shoved her food into her mouth. "It's his decision," she said, her mouth full. "If that's what he wants to do, I'll support him. I don't have to call him to tell him."
"Mel," Tay objected. "You know what this is, don't you?"
"I KNOW what it is!" She said, the frustration and the guilt rising in her voice.
Taylor wasn't sure how to feel. He'd kept up with Jason after Mel had ended things with him. She didn't know it, but he did because he knew she wouldn't. She was clueless. He knew that after Jason was able to go back to work, stories came from the set of the movie he was working on that he had suddenly become difficult to work with. He knew that it had gotten so bad that they almost recast his role. And now he was retiring, so to speak. Tay knew why. He wasn't stupid. He knew it had everything to do with Mel. And now the sudden news was going to weigh heavy on her and he wished he knew how to make it better. Once again, he couldn't help but feel like this was his fault, as well.
When the show came back on, Tay looked at the screen but Mel wouldn't dare turn her head. In Jason's interview, he revealed his decision to take a break for awhile and maybe do some different things behind the camera. That maybe he would get back into it someday, but for now he'd rather focus on other activities. When asked what sparked his decision, he said it was personal and refused to comment beyond that.
Tay knew Mel heard every single word. The longer the interview played, the faster she ate. Tay rubbed his forehead and took a sip of his beer. "You can't keep doing this to yourself," he said to her.
"Doing what? I'm not doing anything."
"You miss him."
"That's life."
"Mel, call him. I don't want to be the one to sit here and feel like the bad guy because you're miserable without the people you care about. Call him."
Suddenly, Mel's fork forcefully found it's way down to her plate. "And say what, Tay? 'Oh, I know I said we couldn't be friends anymore, but wait, I was just kidding, here I am!' It's DONE. It's over. He'll survive just fine without me. He's done it before."
"I'm more concerned if YOU will."
She looked up from her plate and glared at him. "I'm fine."
Taylor sighed in defeat as he fished his wallet out of his pocket to pay the check.
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MEL
That night at the show, Mel stayed backstage and watched Taylor perform. These were always the best parts of the tour. He became a different person onstage--he became Taylor Hanson, and she loved it. She sat back there, tapping her foot and singing along to every song, feeling the energy that flowed from the crowd.
He played "Save Me" as his solo. Zac stood next to her as he downed nearly an entire bottle water and he watched with her, but she barely noticed he was there. Tears sprang to her eyes when Zac leaned into her ear and said, "This wasn't supposed to be his solo tonight."
As Tay finished the song, Zac left Mel's side. Tay walked backstage and directly into Mel's arms, holding her close and kissing her as tears fell down her cheeks. Quickly, he pressed his forehead into hers and told her he loved her before it was time for him to take the stage with his brothers again.
----------------------
When the wind blows through your hair
I want you so bad, I want you so bad
I see your smile, boy, everywhere
I want you so bad, I want you so bad
I never thought his could happen to me
If I've fallen over you
Would it be so bad, would it be so bad
Every night's an eternity
I want you so bad, I want you so bad
I never thought his could happen to me
I want you so bad, I want you so bad
When the wind blows through your hair
I want you so bad, I want you so bad
Oh, I wonder if you're aware
I want you so bad
I wonder if you care
I never thought this could happen to me
I want you so bad
As promised, they stayed in town and got a hotel room for the night. It was the most relaxed Mel had been in a couple of weeks. She took a long, hot shower and then she snuggled herself comfortably on the bed as she flipped channels on the television.
Ah, TV. She hadn't watched a decent show in awhile. As she watched the crime show that came on the screen, Tay came out of the bathroom. "I'm surprised you left any hot water for me," he joked.
She glanced at him and smirked. "You survived."
"Barely."
Shirtless, in nothing but a pair of pajama pants, Mel tried not to make it obvious as she eyed him getting into the bed. It never mattered how she felt about him in any given moment, she could never stop looking at him. Moving closer to her under the covers, she breathed the fresh shower scent that radiated off of him.
He lay on his side and looked up at her, hesitantly sliding his arm around her waist as she sat up in the bed. Gently, he tugged her close to him until she lay on her back underneath him. For a moment, he merely looked down at her as his fingers nonchalantly toyed with the cloth of her sweatshirt on her waist. "Is this okay?" he asked her. "If--if I do this?"
She searched his eyes as she responded. "It always is..."
He blushed and his eyes left hers for a moment before they returned. "I mean, last time we--and--I didn't know if--I'm so sorry."
She raised her arms and slid them around his neck. "That's in the past. We got over it. It's okay. Let's just try not to think about it anymore."
"Its just--every time I look at you I want you so bad and then I think about that night and--I just--"
"It's okay," Mel said, quietly. "I've wanted you, too."
He looked slightly shocked. "Really?"
"Every time you look at me, I want you. Every time you take my hand, I want you. With every single move you make, I want you. I can't help myself."
"And right now?"
"More than ever."
Bringing a hand to his face, she pulled him down and kissed him as she gently rolled him over onto his back. Flipping her wet hair to the side, she adjusted her body so she could reach his lips better as he tucked her hair behind her ear and rested his hand on the back of her head as she kissed him.
Her hand left his face and slowly ran over his chest and his shoulder. Letting his own hand fall, he caught her free hand with it and laced his fingers with hers. Gripping his hand tightly, she slowly brought it over his head as she brought a leg over him to straddle him. Adjusting herself on top of him and letting her body weight rest on the hand she held above his head, she kissed him again. She couldn't seem to stop kissing him this time. The rest of her body wanted him--badly--but she just couldn't tear her lips away. She couldn't get enough of the way he felt and the way he tasted and he didn't make any effort to stop her.
His free hand lowered to her bare leg and ran gently upward, sending chills all through her body. She broke the kiss and sucked in a breath as the chills nearly caused her to lose control of herself. Not that she was ready to orgasm yet, but as he touched her, it became increasingly difficult for her to keep her composure. She felt herself tremble on top of him and she closed her eyes and took the feeling in as he reached her upper thigh, silently cursing her shorts for being the barrier between their skin-on-skin contact.
Opening her eyes again, she caught him staring back into them, intently. "Are you okay?" he asked, his voice nearly inaudible.
"Yes," she breathed in response.
"I love you so much," he whispered.
Not bearing to hear another word, she covered his mouth with hers again, this time a little more eagerly than before. Underneath her, he began to lift himself up off the bed. Allowing the movement, he sat up and wrapped her legs around him and then held her tight against him as he switched positions to lay down across the bed. As he leaned down to kiss her again, his hand found its way just underneath her sweatshirt and the backs of his fingers brushed across her stomach, causing her to suck in her breath again.
Her nails grazed up his bare arms in anticipation. He touched her everywhere but where she wanted him to and she knew he wasn't meaning to tease her. She knew he was nervous. She wanted to give him the green light, but she wanted him to figure out on his own that he'd had it all along. She wanted him to get over his fear on his own.
However, within seconds, she decided she didn't have that kind of time to wait. "Give in," she whispered to him. "Let it happen."
He lifted his head and looked down at her for a moment. Then he tugged upward at her sweatshirt as she followed his lead and pulled it over her own head. Looking her over, he let his hand wander further, taking one of her breasts in his palm. She breathed inward and bit her lip as she looked up at him. A second later, she felt the change in his body and he lowered his head to take her neck with his mouth as he massaged her breast and worked her nipple through his fingers. Underneath him, she arched her back and lifted her chin so he could reach her neck better, her breath shortening as he hit multiple nerve endings at a time. Lowering his hand from her chest, he gripped her hip through her shorts as she rocked them against him from the bed. She could feel his erection through his pants and the anticipation began to excite her to no end.
As if he read her mind, he lifted himself off of her and onto his knees as he worked his pants off of his body. She took in a gasp as she looked at him in all his glory, every time feeling just like the very first time. The only difference was he was older now than he had been the first time and he looked better than ever to her. Following his lead, she lifted her hips off the bed and pulled her shorts over her legs, revealing herself underneath him.
Reaching down to her, she took his hand and he lifted her off of the bed and onto her knees to match his stance. Taking her tightly in his arms, he kissed her once more, feeling the heat from his skin and his heart pounding underneath hers. Gently, she attempted to push him backward and he hesitated. Looking into his eyes, she whispered to him, "Let me take you."
He searched her eyes silently for a moment before he gave in. As she pushed him backward, his eyes never left hers and he repositioned himself on his back as she straddled his lap once again. Reaching between her legs, she took him and guided him into her, lowering herself slowly onto him. She trembled at the first couple of strokes, silent as she closed her eyes and enjoyed the way his hardness felt inside of her. Flipping her hair out of her face, she looked down at him and witnessed his head off the pillow, watching her face and then his eyes gazing down her body. His jaw hung lazily open as he breathed in his pleasure, watching her have her way with him.
Adjusting her hips, she lowered her torso to be closer to him, the backs of her nails grazing upward along the middle of his chest. As she pressed her weight against his shoulder to ride him, the back of his head collapsed onto the pillow and he raised his chin and closed his eyes, allowing himself to lose full control, relenting to her completely. As she slowly and carefully rode him, he let out long, slow breaths, his chest heaving as he breathed inward.
Wrapping her hand along his jawline, she pulled his face down and lowered her mouth onto his. Opening his mouth, he invited her tongue to enter and he groaned into her mouth as he allowed his hands to grip her by the waist. Breaking the kiss, he lifted himself off the bed and braced himself with one of his hands as he wrapped the other one around her waist, pulling her tightly against him. As he sat up, he began to rock his waist, grinding into her and the motion caused her head to fall back as he hit her inside in exactly the right spot, thrust after thrust.
Finally, unable to control herself any longer, she hooked her arm around his neck and arched her back, changing the position of her hips in such a way that made her come, causing her to cry out his name unexpectedly. She sucked in a breath and gritted her teeth, moaning out a desperate, "Oh, Tay, yes!" as she let her head fall back and she finished.
Raising her head to look into his eyes, as he was still inside her, he narrowed his own for a moment before he took her and lay her back down on her back and entered her again, spreading her legs apart and running his hands up her thighs as he sat on his knees over her. As he worked himself inside her again, he began to fall weak quickly and he lowered himself close to her, tucking his hand underneath her head and tugging gently at a fistful of hair underneath her neck. Pulling her head backward, his mouth covered her neck and he breathed in her ear as he made love to her, causing her to moan with pleasure all over again. "One more time, sweetheart," he whispered to her. "One more time."
They came together, a symphony of pleasure and emotion. As he kissed her once more, she could feel the sweat pouring off of him but she didn't dare attempt to let him go. After a moment of silence, collecting themselves, Mel looked up at him and said quietly, "I'm tired."
"I know," he responded. And within mere seconds, she fell asleep in his arms.